Went into hotel ********* restaurant and waited next to a kind of rostrum where they show you to a table, and noticed this little note doubtlessly left by the duty manager. Bit careless to leave it in plain sight of customers, I thought….

Martin Ison

No automatic alt text available.

Of course the humour starts here:

“NEVER tell guests we can’t serve the desserts because the chef has gone home” … just leave them, sitting, waiting interminably for their puddings, refusing to give them eye-contact or respond in any way to their attempts to attract your attention, while you clear all the tables ’round them, then quietly leave, turning out all the lights and locking the doors as you do so.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you even CONSIDER offering to cut a slice of Black Forest Gateau for them yourself – you do NOT have the necessary training or expertise, and you will immediately invalidate the company’s Public Liability insurance if you should do so.

Eddie Snide

 

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