Let us kick off with Mr Trump appealing to those who shoved two pencils up their nose at the back of the class and slammed their heads down forcefully.
Meanwhile your guy is stating things like:
— Drew (@drewsnx) October 17, 2024
"Substantially more than 100 per cent of job creation has gone to migrants " pic.twitter.com/7wCkt2Dr3l
Just 20 examples of self identified right wing politicians being complete morons:
1. Donald Trump (USA): “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively.”
- Trump’s campaign promise to build a wall along the US-Mexico border became one of his defining pledges, but his claim that Mexico would fund it and that it would solve complex immigration issues was widely criticised.
2. Jacob Rees-Mogg (UK): “The overwhelming opportunity for Brexit is over the next 50 years.”
- This rather optimistic claim about the long-term benefits of Brexit raised eyebrows. Suggesting that economic and societal gains would take half a century was not exactly a comforting prospect for those looking for immediate improvements.
3. George W. Bush (USA): “Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?”
- During a campaign event, then-President Bush’s grammar slip became an instant classic, especially considering it came during a discussion on education.
4. Sarah Palin (USA): “But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.”
- This slip-up, where Palin confused North and South Korea, showed the dangers of mixing up key international allies during geopolitical discussions.
5. Boris Johnson (UK): “Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts.”
- This offhand remark, intended as a joke, was yet another example of Boris Johnson’s tendency to veer into strange territory with his attempts at humour, blending sexism and political opportunism in an odd mix.
6. Rick Perry (USA): “Juarez is reported to be the most dangerous city in America.”
- Rick Perry, the former Texas governor, once claimed that Juarez, a city in Mexico, was in the United States—a notable geography fail.
7. Pauline Hanson (Australia): “It’s okay to be white.”
- This slogan, associated with white supremacist movements, was championed by Australian right-wing senator Pauline Hanson, leading to widespread criticism of her insensitivity to racial issues.
8. Nigel Farage (UK): “It’s not racist to say we want to control immigration.”
- Farage’s constant denial that his rhetoric around immigration had anything to do with race was often seen as a disingenuous way to cloak xenophobia in legitimate political discourse.
9. Michele Bachmann (USA): “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”
- The former US congresswoman showed a severe misunderstanding of basic science with this comment, conveniently ignoring the vast scientific consensus on climate change.
10. Pat Buchanan (USA): “Homosexuality is an affliction, like alcoholism.”
- This offensive comparison between homosexuality and a disease has been roundly criticised for its archaic, homophobic views.
11. Ann Widdecombe (UK): “Science may yet produce an answer to what gay genes are.”
- Ann Widdecombe’s suggestion that homosexuality could potentially be ‘cured’ by science sparked outrage, especially among LGBTQ+ activists, for promoting the idea that being gay is a defect.
12. Ben Carson (USA): “Obamacare is really, I think, the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery.”
- Ben Carson, former US Secretary of Housing, compared the Affordable Care Act to one of the greatest atrocities in human history, an analogy that was considered not only inaccurate but incredibly insensitive.
13. Marjorie Taylor Greene (USA): “The California fires were caused by Jewish space lasers.”
- This wild conspiracy theory espoused by Greene, a US congresswoman, was so bizarre that it has become shorthand for some of the most outlandish claims seen in politics.
14. Ronald Reagan (USA): “Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.”
- Reagan’s comment in the 1980s demonstrated a shocking misunderstanding of environmental science, particularly around emissions and pollutants.
15. Dan Quayle (USA): “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”
- The former vice president under George H. W. Bush, Dan Quayle, was notorious for his verbal gaffes, and this one raised questions about his understanding of time itself.
16. Priti Patel (UK): “Fracking will lead to cheaper bills for everyone.”
- The former UK Home Secretary’s assertion about the benefits of fracking was widely debunked, with critics pointing out the environmental damage and lack of long-term cost reduction.
17. Steve King (USA): “We can’t restore our civilization with somebody else’s babies.”
- Steve King’s racially charged comment about immigration was widely condemned for promoting white nationalist ideas about preserving Western culture.
18. Mike Pence (USA): “Smoking doesn’t kill.”
- As a US congressman, Mike Pence once denied the link between smoking and health risks, despite overwhelming medical evidence to the contrary.
19. David Davis (UK): “There will be no downside to Brexit, only a considerable upside.”
- The former Brexit Secretary’s prediction has aged poorly, especially as the UK faced numerous post-Brexit challenges, from supply chain issues to economic stagnation.
20. Louie Gohmert (USA): “If we could just change the moon’s orbit, we might solve climate change.”
In a discussion about climate change, US congressman Louie Gohmert bizarrely suggested altering the moon’s orbit, revealing a total misunderstanding of basic physics and science.
A former judge said this. We are supposed to trust them with justice.
Some of the guys (asylum seekers) are doing a Middle Eastern coffee morning at a local church in Portland, Dorset. Funniest responses:
“Have they got their food hygiene certificates?”
Uh, I dunno, do snotty kids have to have food hygiene certificates for bake sales? Do you go round the local McMillan coffee morning and demand their certificates?
“I thought ILLeGaLs aren’t allowed to work!”
Not sure selling a few sweet teas and Turkish coffees to raise funds for the local church constitutes as work. But pop off.
Has Spouting Nonsense Become An Experiment To Discover How Stupid Right Wing People Are?
Ah, the right-wing. A group of individuals often seen shaking their fists at clouds, longing for a golden age that may or may not have ever existed, and doggedly pursuing policies with the steadfast determination of a cat repeatedly walking into a glass door. The power hungry people of our time dedicated to offering us an endless supply of fact free soundbites.
Let us plunge headfirst into the fountain of right-wing wisdom, which flows bountifully from the minds of those who believe climate change is a conspiracy cooked up by liberal scientists with an overabundance of thermometers. Because, as everyone knows, nothing says “forward-thinking” like ignoring 99% of scientists in favour of that one bloke who runs a blog from his mum’s basement and insists global warming is just the result of “the sun being extra spicy lately.”
The Climate Change Saga: “Weather is not the same as climate!”
The most delightful part of the right-wing denial of climate change is their impeccable grasp of science. For example, it’s always heartwarming to hear someone insist that a particularly cold winter disproves global warming. “Look! It’s snowing outside! How can the planet be warming if I have to put on my woolly socks?” Indeed, in the world of these thinkers, the fact that it occasionally rains during a drought must mean that droughts don’t really exist. Rain and shine are simply playing elaborate pranks on farmers.
One could argue that the conservative understanding of climate is akin to thinking a stubbed toe is the perfect counter-argument to the existence of cancer. But why bother understanding something as basic as global climate patterns when you can just point to the sky and yell, “fake news”? There’s a certain beauty to it, the way one can escape all logic and drift into the comforting warmth of ignorance. Like a toddler convinced that covering their eyes makes them invisible, some conservatives seem to think that closing their minds makes them right.
Immigration: “We were here first!” (Except we weren’t)
Immigration, another favourite topic, always brings out the finest examples of right-wing intellectual acrobatics. You see, the irony of someone named Chadwick or McAllister demanding that immigrants “go back where they came from” is almost too perfect. Especially when we remember that their ancestors rolled into the UK at some point in history, plopping themselves down like uninvited guests at a party and promptly helping themselves to the country’s snacks.
But no, the problem is clearly those other immigrants. The brown ones. And the ones that speak other languages. They’re the ones causing all the trouble! Because, as we know, nothing disrupts the fabric of British society more than the mere existence of someone who likes different spices in their food. These same individuals also claim that immigrants are “taking our jobs” while simultaneously being lazy freeloaders living off the welfare state. One has to admire the ability to hold two completely contradictory thoughts in one’s head without the slightest cognitive dissonance. It’s an impressive feat, really—like watching someone juggle flaming torches while balancing on a unicycle… except instead of torches, it’s faulty reasoning.
The Great Welfare Myth: “Poor people are just lazy!”
Speaking of welfare, the right-wing love affair with the idea that poverty is purely a result of laziness is a masterclass in disconnect from reality. Ah yes, the classic argument: if poor people just worked harder, they’d be rich. Because, clearly, the person working 14-hour shifts at a minimum-wage job just isn’t hustling enough. And billionaires? Well, they’re obviously the hardest workers among us, because nothing says “hard work” like buying and selling imaginary stocks from a yacht while sipping champagne.
But it’s not just about hard work, they say! It’s about personal responsibility. And what better way to demonstrate personal responsibility than by being born into wealth, inheriting vast sums of money, and then pontificating on the virtues of meritocracy from behind a gated mansion? After all, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is so much easier when your boots are made of gold and were handed to you on a silver platter.
Healthcare: “Why help the sick when we can watch them suffer?”
Now, let’s talk healthcare, that ghastly social experiment where people—brace yourselves—actually receive medical attention without going bankrupt. The NHS, a beloved institution by many, is seen by some on the right as a socialist hellscape, where doctors are little more than government pawns and patients are treated like cattle. Why provide universal healthcare when you can embrace the American model, where an ambulance ride costs more than a flight to the Caribbean, and a broken arm sets you back the price of a small house?
You see, in the minds of the enlightened right-wingers, healthcare should be a privilege, not a right. If you can’t afford it, well, maybe you didn’t deserve to survive that heart attack anyway. Survival of the fittest, my friend! Forget compassion or decency—it’s all about weeding out the weak, one hospital bill at a time.
The War on Education: “Facts have a liberal bias”
Next up: education. Because what better way to ensure a bright future for society than by waging war on the very institution designed to prepare people for that future? Critical thinking? Who needs it! After all, the more educated people are, the less likely they are to vote for right-wing policies. It’s a fact often acknowledged in hushed tones, like a forbidden spell from an ancient grimoire: knowledge is dangerous.
Thus, we witness the right’s relentless attacks on higher education, particularly when it comes to those pesky subjects like history, science, and anything else that dares challenge their narrow worldview. Why teach kids about evolution when they could be learning about how dinosaurs shared the Earth with humans a mere 6,000 years ago? Why explain the intricacies of global economics when you could simply instil the important lesson that tax cuts for the rich will somehow, magically, make everyone else wealthier?
And don’t even get them started on gender studies or sociology. “Pointless leftist nonsense,” they’ll cry, as they feverishly attempt to dismantle these fields of study, all while ensuring that their own children are shipped off to expensive private schools where they will, ironically, receive the very education they rail against.
Brexit: “Who needs Europe when we have nostalgia?”
Brexit, perhaps the crowning achievement of the modern British right-wing, is a glorious testament to what happens when a nation collectively forgets how interconnected the world has become. There is something beautifully absurd about the idea that leaving the European Union—our largest trading partner—would somehow make us stronger, freer, and richer. Ah, sovereignty! That magical word, whispered like a spell, as if simply saying it would summon factories out of thin air and make food prices drop overnight.
Yet, post-Brexit, we find ourselves grappling with food shortages, supply chain issues, and economic downturns. But fear not! For right-wing politicians are quick to point out that this is merely the fault of Remainers not believing hard enough in the Brexit dream. It’s like Peter Pan, but with tariffs and immigration queues. Clap your hands if you believe, or else the economy dies!
But it’s not just about the economy, is it? No, it’s about taking back control. Control of what, exactly, remains somewhat unclear—perhaps the ability to be blissfully independent in a globalised world, or maybe just the right to scowl at French cheese while pretending we never really liked it anyway. The mind boggles, but the rhetoric remains steadfast: we’re better off without the EU, because we say so, and nothing—not facts, nor reality—can change that.
“A Beautifully Misguided Odyssey”
And so, we come to the end of our journey through the delightful land of right-wing logic, a place where facts are subjective, science is optional, and history is what you make it (as long as it fits neatly into your narrative). It is a world where immigration is both the cause of and solution to all problems, where poverty is a personal failing rather than a societal issue, and where “freedom” often seems to mean the freedom to remain blissfully uninformed.
But perhaps that’s the beauty of it. The simplicity. The clarity that comes from never having to question one’s beliefs, from being able to ignore the complexities of the world in favour of comforting sound bites and slogans. Who needs nuance when you have certainty? Why engage in debate when you can just shout “fake news” and walk away?
In this land of the right-wing, it’s always sunny, because they’ve collectively decided that clouds are a left-wing invention. It’s a land where the government is both too powerful and utterly incompetent, depending on which side of the bed they woke up on that morning. And, above all, it’s a land where anyone who disagrees is clearly wrong, because thinking differently would require that most uncomfortable of actions: thinking.
Ah, the right-wing. A beautifully misguided odyssey into the heart of political absurdity. Surely no one is that stupid. No one believes this utter nonsense? It has to be an experiment to see how gullible people can be. It must be! Or….
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