The Kabul Bank has been held up as a shining example of a successful, western institution transplanted to the war-torn country. On the evidence we have seen over the last few days this is absolutely true. By all accounts, Afghanistan’s banks and government are run by crooks, loons and gamblers just as preposterous as our own.
Yet another corner turned in the War on Terror.
The practice of gambling customer’s money, transnational hustling, self-paid bonuses and bankers and ministers with their fingers in the till are hallmarks of good financial and political practice here at home. All that’s missing is state intervention to salve the harm done to capitalists by their very own corrupt laissez faire; in their defence, however, it’s a learning curve.
Originally set up to cater to people who had never used a bank account, Kabul Bank aimed to attract punters with prize draws in which they could win, among other things, garish jewellery. In fact what Afghans have been provided with is a complete rip off, which is precisely what the public in the developed west have come to expect from their financial institutions. I expect that a great many Afghans will be lamenting that they unstuffed their mattresses in the first place.
That is, if they have mattresses.
As it turns out those involved in the bank were drawing substantial loans for themselves and then getting more loans to pay-off the original loans and so on. Customer’s money, up to the value of around $900 million, appears to have been loaned out fraudulently under the names of banker’s own family members, friends and domestic servants.
One of the most prominent figures caught up in the audit is the bank’s chairman, Sherkhan Farnood, who is a previous winner of the European leg of the World Series of Poker. Farnood’s former bodyguard has also found his way into a job as the bank’s chief executive. It’s hard to imagine better qualifications (or a better metaphor) for western-style banking then an individual betting other people’s money in a televised poker contest while his hired muscle looks on. The repeated lesson in western economies is that even when banks piss their portfolio’s away, there is always the security of public money to fall back on if you have friends with the thuggery to free it up.
According to one major newspaper, Karzai himself has become directly involved in the case. The New York Times, in an uncharacteristic fit of journalism, not only gathered facts as they emerged, but contrived to publish them in article form. The president and a small group of ‘top aides’ have been dutifully taking up the role of the courts and police and had spent some time interviewing witnesses, talking to the accused and dictating who faces indictment and who does not.
Not to be charged is Karzai’s brother, Mahmood.
One can only hope that after launching Skyfall, in a morale-boosting jolly to visit the British troops in southern Afghanistan, Daniel Craig is still on call. Who better than 007 to win back the money from, Mahmood and Sherkhan, Afghanistan’s very own Le Chiffre’s.
Just envision the dash toward Kabul from Camp Bastion in an air-dropped and hopefully IED-proof Aston Martin. Surely Bond, another great Anglo-Saxon fantasy institution, can see off the forces of darkness a la Casino Royale.
Pity Afghanistan is a dry posting, he’ll have to have Chai, shaken not stirred.
