To: Prime Minister ; DWP Ministers ; [email protected] Cc: Ed Miliband ; Ed Balls ; [email protected]
Dear Prime Minister
As you may know, in all the government films, ‘Good’ always triumphs in the end, and so it will be at the 2015 election. I have already outlined to you, as an information addressee of my email to the Blonde Bimbo yesterday, how we can totally scupper your party’s chances at the Polls by reminding people of the numerous evils that your government has perpetrated against the ordinary voters of the United Kingdom. What I didn’t say, and perhaps should have, is that there will be people out there who will also be reminding voters that Labour, if elected, are committed to continue inflicting upon us much of what your creatures already have. A classic example of what we will tell people is the story of a Prime Minister who claimed every benefit going for his disabled son. A Prime Minister who, as soon as that son was safely tucked up in the Angels’ Creche, then proceeded to inflict upon the nation, via his Auschwitz-inspired Work and Pensions Secretary, a system of utter viciousness that now requires all disabled people to justify, each year, our very right to continue breathing. We have learned, you see, that as our elected politicians will not give us honest answers and open commitments to fair treatment, then it is up to us to make sure that the facts are presented to voters in a timely reminder of what they can expect from any major Party if they award their “X” to that Party’s box on the polling form. So, like the self-serving creatures who are Parliament’s gravy train hobos, we will now begin preparing our own stalls.
The difference will be that we will place our goods into the open where all can see, and won’t fudge the issues on display with the spin and outright lies that the political classes seem to learn as some kind of adjunct to their ABCs. Let me give you a couple of examples of how this honesty thing works: You, Prime Minister, have said that lessons will be learned (how I DETEST that overworked bloody phrase!!) from the flooding that is affecting the UK at the moment. We, for our part, will remind people that it was YOUR government that cut funding from flood defence projects and was on the verge of sacking 500 flood defence experts. Those folks who have an axe to grind with Labour will very probably be reminding sick and disabled voters that it was that Party that introduced the hated abuse of human rights that is the WCA, in a deal with the outlaw insurer, Unum, that was so corrupt that it knocked the behaviour of banana republic despots into the shadows. We are committed to learning which MP’s of the time hold or held shares in Unum, Atos and the holding companies with which both are shrouded.
Your first salvo, Prime Minister, in the campaign has been to pledge to secure the State pension, yet you have “declined” to rule out other cuts to funding for the elderly. With that in mind why any Q-Tips should even consider voting for your Party would be a mystery indeed. And why should the Scots even allow your plane to land in their country any more, now that you’ve made it clear that their elderly would be made to suffer under a further Tory term in government of a Britain that remained united? You were always full of the “Broken Britain” waffle when Labour was in government but YOU, without a shred of doubt, will be recorded forever in popular history as the Prime Minister who actually and irrevocably smashed the Union. Cuz Liz is not going to be at all amused with you, Davey-boy.
If the forthcoming attack on the grey voters wasn’t enough, that poisonous litle sproink, Gove, is insulting the bejasus out of the millions who laid down their lives in two world wars, the latter of which was fought to protect us from the very fascism that your government and its Nu-Labour predecessor have permitted to worm its way into our nation’s political structure. What with that, and his incessant machinations designed to brainwash all schoolkids into becoming good little drones to serve your financial masters, we have more than adequate reason to ditch every single political party in favour of a complete landslide of Independent candidates. If we do our job correctly, the term “hung Parliament” will be an understatement such as has never before been seen in the United Kingdom. And we could well succeed in doing that job to a satisfactory level because one thing is crystal clear to very many people nowadays: Fewer than six per cent of MP’s actually gives a flying toss about representing their constituents’ interests. Ninety-plus per cent of them are more than happy to be sheep and simply be herded into the Lobby folds by the undemocratic Whips. So who, really, constitutes the real “stock” in the UK, Prime Minister?
Maybe Psychosmiffy can give you some pointers while he gloats over his 11% pay rise along with the rest of the ninety-plus per cent of your colleagues, including those who find it funny when told of starving children. You’d better work hard to get your messages across, because we will also be working hard to make sure that the veneers of spin and downright deceit are stripped entirely from those messages, and our job will be the easier. This Parliamentary term has been the period in which a huge slice of the electorate has woken up and realised what a massive con has been going on under their noses for the last thirty years. We’ve reaslised that WE are the ones fighting on the side of Light and Decency, and that the Dark Forces are the ones operating from that slowly sinking Gothic building London. Time for some well-placed depth charges then…
Sincerely,
Darren Lynch
https://uk.news.yahoo.com/video/parties-gear-election-fight-061004115.html https://uk.news.yahoo.com/uk-suffers-worst-storms-20-years-053129166.html https://uk.news.yahoo.com/cameron-vows-guarantee-pensions-030033582.html https://uk.news.yahoo.com/calls-cameron-salmond-debate-030033976.html https://uk.news.yahoo.com/uk-politicians-michael-gove-tristram-hunt-war-over-110118274.html
