“Shocking footage!”
Translation: You’re dumb and easily-led so saying this will make you click on it.
*****
“(Left wing commentator) gets owned/destroyed by (right wing commentator)”
Translation: A right wing pundit says something very right wing (probably something about white men now being the ones who suffer discrimination the most), proving absolutely sweet FA.
*****
“What happens next is unbelievable!”
Translation: Nothing actually ‘happens next’ (see ‘Shocking footage’ ploy).
*****
“The left winger’s position was……. (make up some bullshit here)”
Translation: You’ll believe any old shit we tell you and we know half of you will be outraged without actually watching the clip.
*****
“Share if you still say Merry Christmas and don’t care if it offends anyone!”
Translation: Be outraged about this stuff that isn’t really a thing. Keep being outraged while the rich steal all your money.
*****
“If you don’t like it, why don’t you go live in Afghanistan?”
Translation: We’re only appealing to the bozos who think this shit is patriotic.
*****
“You need to show some respect for the brave soldiers who fought for your right to free speech”
Translation: We intend to curb your free speech whilst wailing that you are stopping ours! Also, we’re unclear regarding the exact war involved…. might have been Vietnam or Korea. Finally here, we are fully cognisant of the fact that our forebearers fought against extreme racism, Nazism and Fascism and see no irony in invoking their sacrifices to promote extreme racism, Nazism and Fascism.
*****
“Deal with it!”
Translation: It may be prejudiced or inhuman, but we are going to force it upon you.
*****
“Let that sink in!”
Translation: By saying this, we are trying to suggest that the point we’re making is truly significant and earth-shattering and not utter right wing bollocks. We’re also suggesting that what the left wing person said was unbelievably shocking…… like, y’know, suggesting putting actual children in cages.
*****
“Will you dare to share this?!”
Translation: It’s OK to be a fascist now, so go ahead (although we’re pretending your right to be a fascist is being attacked by socialists!) Also, we know you are the kind of person who will do anything for a dare…. even elect Trump!
*****
Tom Lane
