A few weeks ago my neighbour’s dog was tragically killed in a road traffic accident. He ran into the road (the dog that is) and was hit by a van. Thankfully, my neighbour was physically unscathed but he was psychologically scarred as you might imagine.
The good news is that he now has a brand new puppy. “A replacement,” was how he described it, so he didn’t dwell too long on his loss, which I suppose is a good thing. Why grieve forever when a couple of hundred quid can buy you peace of mind and a new pet in a single commercial transaction?
I met him yesterday (my neighbour that is) as he was taking his new purchase to the park. He was going to train it, he said, because he couldn’t live with himself if another accident robbed him of his new companion, plus there was the money he’d spent on buying the pup and the huge expense of getting it inoculated by a vet. He didn’t mention the rising cost of dog food or the price of pet funerals should his training strategy go wrong for a second time.
The other thing my neighbour mentioned was that he didn’t yet have a name (the new dog that is). He had considered all the usual things like Rex, Rover and Rusty but didn’t like any of them. He had even considered Ed, Nick, David and Nigel but felt that he might be embarrassed once the General Election was over if his dog was stuck with a namesake who had just been hammered into the dust by the electorate and was now facing expulsion from his party’s top job.
I suggested that he should think of names that might help the dog in its green cross training and so avoid the previous misfortune that he (his dead dog that is) had recently suffered. My neighbour seemed to warm to this idea and asked, “You mean something like Traffic, or Van or maybe even Lorry?”
“Well,” I said, “I was thinking more along the lines of Stay or Stop, or possibly even Oshit. You know, something with a specific life-saving message attached to it.”
In the end I think he had made his mind up and was going for Harley.
Bikers beware.
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The Tea Maker
