Foreign Secretary Hague was on the radio this morning answering questions on his dual role with Angelina Jolie regarding rape during wartimes and their campaign to end sexual violence against women in war. When asked why some people committed such heinous acts he replied that power was a cause. Immediately alarm bells rang in my head (not unusual when a politician pontificates about well anything). Since the beginning of the 20th century Britain has been taken into thirty three wars or conflicts by its ‘different’ governments. And apart from shootings; the use of mines; carpet bombing; chemical warfare; executions; torture; selling weapons to future enemies; economic sanctions against civilians and ridiculing and bullying anyone with a dark skin or an Irish accent we have an excellent reputation, so you can imagine the smile that spread across my face when the next question cornered him on what constitutes ‘British values’. Now I love irony as much as the next person (apart from Americans apparently) but Nicky Campbell really pushed the tug out on this one. And as is par Mr Hague (having first explained that the formation of these values should be left to the Department of Education aka Michael Gove – cue author’s quick fire round of expletives) replied that freedom, tolerance and an acceptance of differing ideas was at the heart of the British condition (cue another volley of expletives but with more ‘f’s’ and ‘c’s’).
Any country with a Conservative Party; UKIP and the BNP (amongst others) dominating its midrift cannot and should never be described as accepting of ‘differing ideas’. From a man and his party who calls New Labour policy ‘socialist’ and ridicules the term at every opportunity to come out and say that Britons are accepting of different ideas would require a tattoo in block capitals emblazened across millions of foreheads reading ‘MY MIND HAS JUST POPPED OUT. NOT SURE WHEN BACK. PLEASE LEAVE ANYTHING LIBERAL AND BEYOND IN THE CESSPIT AROUND THE BACK’. Egalitarianism and anything that might make most people’s lives better has never been and never will be a Tory party value. As for UKIP and the BNP the less said the better.
Freedom? Am I free to choose a school? NO! Am I free to choose my doctor? NO! Can I disagree with a magistrate or judge and not feel their wrath? NO! Can I walk as the crow flies to any location without being arrested? NO! Can my children choose what they want to wear at school? NO! Can I select the subjects my children learn in school? NO! Can I sack my employer if he/she bullies me or pays me too little? NO! And on and on and on… WHY? Because governments; corporations; courtrooms; civil servants; clerics… dictate the rules and the only ‘freedoms’ that exist are what is left. Yes ‘we’ are better off in some respects than other cultures; countries… but that does not make us free just freer. Yes I have freedoms others don’t have and yes we should applaud that but it is not limited to Britain. It is not a ‘British value’ no more than it is a French or German or Canadian value. A discussion of what constitutes ‘freedom’ is though desperately required.
And what the **** is tolerance? ‘We don’t want you near us but stiff upper lip and all that’ is Tory tolerance especially many of those dead eyed on the back benches. We want people to explore ideas and cultures and people and understand them for themselves not ‘tolerate’. Bloody ‘tolerance’ is gushed out without any thought for what it implies. Usually dogmatic bafoons who have been herded into a pen since conception and let their parents and significant others do all of their thinking for them. Anyway I got to thinking let’s be honest and identify what are Britons really expected to consider as important?
- Declare war on any middle eastern leader who is deemed unstable and has a lot of oil.
- Give the impression we give a shit when other ‘unstable and dangerous’ leaders are massacring their people but only do the bare minimum to reign them in.
- Create an atmosphere where as few as possible care if hundreds of thousands of foreign civilians are killed or injured during our incursions.
- Anyone who is not working ridicule them and call them all lazy scroungers unless they have inherited huge amounts of unearned wealth. We must idolise them.
- Ensure that when the establishment and their mates screw up that they are rarely held to account. However, create an impression that they are.
- The Sheriff of Nottingham was the real hero.
- When a boss makes you redundant the real sympathy should be with them.
- That fantasy and science can mix.
- If you cannot afford it, borrow.
- Rich people should have small class sizes, no waiting lists and live longer.
- Fining the poor is great but taxing the rich is bad.
- Queue.
- Give up your seat for the elderly, females, the disabled and pregnant people. (Very confusing if you are elderly, female, disabled and pregnant).
- Always be polite and don’t complain. (Beat them to death with your ‘power’ but don’t complain or rape them).
As for what the values of Britons should really be I am not a member of the Department of Education (aka Michael Gove) but whatever I came up with would probably have no remblance to what kids up and down the country will have to blindly adhere to come this September. However, it might be fun to have a go. Over to you dear reader.
Douglas James
