I have become close to a dreadful story where a local authority tried but failed to take a child off her mentally ill parents. Over nearly nine months they experienced the full force of the state as it tried to find evidence of neglect, beginning literally three weeks before their baby was born.
The good news for all involved is that it seems that the family will stay together, with a final hearing in the family court likely to conclude that the mother and father are good parents and are skilful, loving and devoted to the fruit of their love.
During this experience they discovered one thing – knowledge is power. The process of child protection is baffling and opaque in the extreme. Speaking to the family I drew up a 75 page mind map that describes all the processes involved as well as the professionals who play key roles in the process.
The family want something positive to share with all others who are exposed to what could be the most stressful experience of their lives. They want to develop a website that maps out the processes involved and gives advice as to how to tackle them.
Revenge is sweet or so they say. There are dozens of ‘shop a social worker’ websites that seek to name and shame failures in the system. This website would not do that. It would seek to inform and guide anyone, including professionals and parents, who are exposed to it. It would not judge. We will get expert advice to understand exactly what each process involves and share that with the website user.
There are bad social workers, but imagine doing the job they do? Would you want a job rescuing sexually abused children from their parents? Would you want to spend your career getting verbally and physically abused by people for taking their child off them, whether the right choice or not?
In my view there are large numbers of cases that go unreported in the media where children are saved from dreadful home environments. One of the questions everyone asks in a child abuse case is where were social services? The obvious answer is that they were rescuing another child from an equal or worse fate, not getting a shred of public praise for it, and hadn’t seen the signs because the abusers were so clever and managed to hide the abuse.
Despite this being a highly emotionally charged area, my view is that the problem lies with the government. If they paid social workers what they were worth, and gave social services departments and even badly over stretched family courts the resources they needed to effectively protect children in our communities then there would be more stories like the one I am close to. Sadly the austerity ideology is making children’s and families lives miserable.
The website, which now has funding and will be published in Spring next year, is designed to show people the processes that they will go through at every stage. What the hell do you do when social workers itch up saying they want to take your child off you? What does the court process involve? What powers does a social worker have? How and when do you choose a lawyer? Who do you talk to? How do you get the best possible outcome for you and your child?
I’m writing this piece to ask you if you have had any contact with children’s social services? Regardless of whether you won or lost overall, have you advice to give someone who’s going through this right now? Is there a rose you can plant that can grow from the shit you’ve been through?
I’m an experienced social affairs journalist with direct experience of mental distress. Have a look at my website at https://richardshrubb.co.uk for an idea of what I’m about. I would like to hear from you. Email me at [email protected] and I’d love to hear from you. Your anonymity is guaranteed and I won’t pass on your details to anyone else.
Richard Shrubb
