I was reading about positive psychology the other day and thought it was certainly worth trying. There are too many negative people with negative thoughts about themselves. People should be much more positive and, to get the ball rolling, there are some things you should never say about yourself.
I am alone
I know the feeling. No one wants to know you. When you reach out to loved ones, their number has changed or they’ve moved house. It will come as little comfort to know that there are millions just like you around the UK and each of them is just as sad and depressed and alone as you. What you have to do is hang out at busy places and start telling yourself that you are NOT alone. Even when you are completely alone and feeling utterly abandoned, just say, I am not alone. Go on, say it now.
I will never find love
This can be true for many people who are always totally alone and who lie to themselves about not being alone. The trick here is to tell yourself that you need to get out and meet people. You have to tell yourself that you are alone but you don’t have to be alone if you get out more. You then have to tell yourself that you will find love if you meet people. Start today. Tell yourself, “I won’t be alone if I go out and meet people and, if I meet people, I will find love… maybe!”
I’m not good enough
Good enough for what? Look around you and see who you are surrounded by. Bankers, politicians and twenty million fucking incompetents who have managed to hold down a job for decades. Don’t tell me you’re not good enough. You’re probably better than most, even if you’re shit.
I can’t do it
There are many things you can’t do but there are a few things you might be able to do if you try really hard. Focus on the things where there is some chance of success, even if it’s only a slim chance. Keep saying to yourself, “I think I might be able to do something, as long as I pick something easy.” The main thing to remember is some of us have to take little steps towards becoming positive.
I’m so stupid
Research has shown that around 4.6 million people in the UK refer to themselves as ‘stupid’ every day. However, the research also shows that only 4.5 million of these are actually stupid. There is always hope if you cultivate a positive attitude. Tell yourself that you are NOT one of the 4.5 million. Tell yourself you are NOT stupid. Ok, you may make mistakes. You may fuck things up occasionally, maybe even big time. But be positive. These things don’t make you stupid, they make you normal. Are you learning from your mistakes? Good! Are you constantly repeating your fuck-ups? Yes? Well tell yourself, “I am stupid but I will try harder.”
I never see things through
If that’s the case, you won’t have reached this piece of advice. You probably stopped at ‘I can’t do it’. Anyway, you should never give up. If you dig deep enough you will always find the strength to carry on and overcome any challenge and difficulty. Every obstacle can be beaten. Every mountain can be conquered. Do not quit. These are the things I read about in that positive psychology article about perseverance. They all sounded quite strenuous to me but, who knows, you could do it if you really tried. Go on, have another go.
It has to be remembered that what you are is what you think of yourself as being. If you keep telling yourself you’re a failure, that’s what you’re likely to become. On the other hand, tell yourself you are a success and the chances are you will move towards being successful, unless of course you are a real numpty, which you aren’t… are you?
The Tea Maker
PS: You can comment on this story by emailing me at [email protected] and I’ll respond to your emails in next week’s column. We’ll never publish your email address.
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The Tea Maker
