Living with Dyslexia

So, I am Dyslexic.

What does that mean for me? I think before going into this I should give you some background. I have had a career in the post-office and have taught in primary, secondary and further education. I have also achieved a post-graduate qualification. All of this was before I was diagnosed.

So what is dyslexia? Isn’t it “word blindness”, meaning that some people cannot read and spell? Well, I can do both pretty accurately. Reading individual words presents no problem and my spelling has always been good. At least it was until I started using a keyboard and now little red lines appear all over the page when I’m typing to Word.

So, how do I know I’m dyslexic?

In 2007, I started working as a DSA Needs Assessor. What do I do? I simply assess students with additional needs and write reports recommending equipment, study skills support or software before or during their Higher Education courses. I see students who have already had a diagnosis from an educational psychologist of a Specific Learning Difficulty (SpLD) that is: dyslexia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Asperger’s Syndrome, together with a wide range of medical problems and mental health needs.

About sixty per cent of those I assess have an SpLD. I noticed that what these students were describing sounded really familiar. Many could read quite complex words but when reading academic material could not recall what they had read or had to use their fingers to follow the lines, but even so, they found they still read the same line twice or missed one altogether. These difficulties often meant they had to reread passages several times.

Ah, now I remember that! And, I could not get on with books with complex (oh, what is that word? Darn this problem with word retrieval….Ah yes..), plots or with lots of foreign names. War and Peace was never going to feature on my book shelf.

Talking of memory, students often declared that they had difficulties in remembering things and often needed to write lists even for going up stairs to collect three items. Words and names often eluded them too. This also sounded very familiar.

Some students talk about sitting in lectures and finding it hard to concentrate, and even when they are very interested in the subject matter their minds wander and they have real difficulty in remaining on task. Additionally, they experience “information overload” or say that their brains often feel “fried”. They frequently return home feeling exhausted and with a headache.

Oh really? Well this had always happened to me too.

Many also say that they have been thought of as lazy throughout their education. Even when they knew they were working harder than their fellow students the grades they achieved did not reflect that. Often this is very disheartening, resulting in a lack of motivation or indeed self-worth. Many say that they have always thought of themselves as being “thick”. This is not often borne out by the Educational Psychologist’s or Specialist Teacher’s report as many dyslexic students show high results in the application of their cognitive (intellectual) skills but in other areas, their results are low indicating what is known as a spikey profile (high results in one area and low in others where normally one would expect parity).

When I was studying, I remember thinking that some parts of a lesson seemed pretty straight forward and indeed, fairly obvious but that some concepts seemed to elude me. Why was this?

I decided to talk to my line-manager who immediately said, “Well I know you’re dyslexic, Sheila”. Oh really? Why didn’t she tell me? I booked an appointment for a proper diagnosis and these were the results:

Okay, well what did this mean? I was in the top 6th% of the population of my age in spelling and my reading accuracy and comprehension were pretty strong but …. what had happened to my speed of reading? …. That was pretty slow – below 35% making 65% of the population faster at reading than I was. Perplexing!

What about my writing ability?

Well, that seems quite strong. So how come I’m dyslexic?

What about my overall ability?

My report states:

“Sheila’s verbal abilities lie in the superior band, within the top 7% of the population; her vocabulary abilities are marginally weaker, within the top 17%.”

I was pretty pleased with this too!

Wow!!! Really? In the top 0.1% of the population in Vocabulary? Unbelievable but brilliant! …. Surely I can’t be dyslexic? What about my inability to recall words though? Ah, now read on!

What? The 8thpercentile? That means that 92% of the population has a better short-term memory than I do?

My report goes on to note the following:

“The auditory short term score was far lower than I would have expected – a wide discrepancy between Sheila’s non-verbal reasoning scores at the top end of the scale, and a working memory score at the very lowest end of the scale.

The very weak auditory memory score, in the bottom 8% of the population, is a strong characteristic of dyslexia and accounts for Sheila’s relatively slow reading speeds and poor recall of what she has read. She did say that she can read a whole chapter and not recall any of its substance. This low auditory memory score could also affect her note taking in lectures or remembering what she is transcribing from the board onto the page.

This unreliable memory will mean that Sheila may also feel less confident in pressurised situations which require efficient short term working memory.

Sheila’s relatively strong visual coding score indicated that she uses her visual strength to support her weaker auditory memory.”

Sheila Bryan

1 Short term auditory memory

2 Spelling

3 Single word reading 8 Verbal

4 Comprehension

5 Symbol Digit Coding

6 Receptive Vocabulary

7 Vocabulary

Standard Deviation (SD): Is the average deviation from the mean – regardless of direction. The mean is a standardised score of 100 – scores within 1 SD either side of the mean on any test are classified as ‘average’. Approximately two-thirds (68%) of individuals will fall in the ‘average’ range, 34% either side of the mean. By measuring standard deviation, we can compare individuals’ results, on one test against the results of another, to derive a profile of strengths and weaknesses, as well as seeing how well the student matches up to his/her peers in terms of actual performance.”

Now this suddenly all made sense. This is what dyslexia feels like in my case. So, how was I to deal with this information? Firstly I was over the moon to think that I was indeed intelligent in some areas but to have my difficulties explained in this way was quite shocking even though it was also enlightening. So, this is why I had struggled in so many situations when I was under pressure, why I had problems with word retrieval when presenting ideas, why I needed tasks broken down into small chunks so that I could remember what to do, and why I was always thought of as lazy with my reports always noting “Sheila could do better”.

It all made sense now. It wasn’t my fault! This was a revelation, but not an excuse. However, I could now feel better about myself. I can achieve. It may take me longer than others and I don’t have to beat myself up about not always being able to remember names, people and things. I need to try harder and find strategies to aid my recall but I can now think about those rather than lose confidence in myself. I can now ask for help without feeling stupid.

So, what have I learned?

1. Having dyslexia does not mean I am “thick” or “stupid”.
2. One can in fact be quite intelligent and still have difficulties with learning (I believe NASA employs up to 10% of its workforce with dyslexia as often dyslexic people are pretty creative. You only have to think about Sir Richard Branson to know that entrepreneurial skills are also very possible)
3. I can still achieve whatever I want to, even though it may take me just a bit longer.

So what are the definitions of Dyslexia? They are many and varied but The British Psychological Society has said that:

“Dyslexia is evident when accurate reading and fluent word reading and/or spelling develops very incompetently or with great difficulty.”

The Department for Education and Skills working group report on specific learning difficulties (2005) indicates that students may be said to have these difficulties if they have particular difficulties in fluent reading and writing skills and/or manipulating numbers which may indicate that performance is well below their abilities in other areas, or if they have ADHD or dyspraxia.

Dyslexia Action notes:

“Dyslexia is a learning difficulty that primarily affects the skills involved in accurate and fluent word reading and spelling.

Characteristic features of dyslexia are difficulties in:

• Phonological awareness, verbal memory and verbal processing speed.

• Dyslexia occurs across the range of intellectual abilities.
• It is best thought of as a continuum, not a distinct category, and there are no clear cut-off points.

• Co-occurring difficulties may be seen in aspects of language, motor co-ordination, mental calculation, concentration and personal organisation, but these are not, by themselves, markers of dyslexia.

• A good indication of the severity and persistence of dyslexic difficulties can be gained by examining how the individual responds or has responded to well-founded intervention. – ( Source – Rose Review , Identifying and Teaching Children and Young People with Dyslexia and Literacy Difficulties – 2009)”

Dyslexia is now considered a neurodiverse condition and included in this overarching term are Dyslexia , Dyspraxia (formerly known as clumsy child syndrome), Dyscalculia (severe and measurable problems with number), AD(H)D, Asperger’s Syndrome and Tourette’s Syndrome.

The diagram below may help with understanding some overlap between these conditions.

As it turns out, because I am rather clumsy I also have Dyspraxia. The diagram has enabled me to understand more about my own difficulties and alerted me to others’ needs. A great help in my work.

By the way, I have deliberately presented this discussion on a yellow background with blue text (Arial point 14) which may help in reading this document. If white paper and having words bouncing about on the page is a problem you may wish to investigate Irlen® Syndrome (Visual Stress) and consider coloured overlays or tinted lenses. More about this will be discussed in another paper.

If I can be of help to others please contact Dorset Eye with your details and questions and I’ll endeavour to answer them.

Further information can be found at: