The quiet, sleepy hamlet of Lower Bottom was hit by a devastating freak downpour on Thursday 21st November. Up to 1mm of rain fell on the tiny hamlet in just two hours. Traffic was halted, schools closed, and train schedules thrown in to chaos.
A local resident, mother of five, Tracey Goodbody, aged 15 said ” We were really scared, just sitting down to our KFC Bucket lunch when it started. The postman hadn’t arrived with my Giro and I thought I would never get to the shops to stock up with booze and fags
Local Councillor Deborah Fiddler said ” I had just spent two hours applying my anti-wrinkle cream and was about to attend an important Council meeting to discuss whether to get the executive offices redecorated or get the potholes mended, a knife edge vote was imminent. The limo was waiting outside but my exit was blocked by a puddle, which would have ruined my heels”. Emergency services arrived, five fire engines, two ambulances, four police cars and an armed response unit. The adjacent roads were cordoned off to lessen Mrs. Fiddler’s dilemma. Once he puddle was drained, after four hours, Mrs. Fiddler was able to attend her meeting.
Local MP, Mr Bob Wilter said ” It has all been a shock, it meant I couldn’t fill in my expenses forms. or order my new Indian Carpets that day, the good news is, I have secured an emergency relief grant of £5 from the Government”
Obscure Police Commisioner, Martyn Overhill said ” My astute, even handed force has thoroughly investigated and no criminal charges will be brought. It appear no crimes were commited although several local motorists at the scene were breathalised.
An appeal for aid to help the devasted community has been started, all donations gladly received, especially, clothes, preferably Burberry or TK Maxx, Special Brews, Scotch and Vodka welcome.Utensils too please, Le Creuset or similar.
Footnote. The Council chose a lovely Italian Burgundy Flock wallpaper for their suites, hey better than mending potholes.
James Pulleine
