It’s easy. I know because I have done it.
I used to smoke like a chimney and drink like a fish. I was an addict for more than fifteen years. Then one fine day I quit. No struggles, no therapies. I just quit.
Do you want to hear my story? I don’t think I will tell you because it’s long and complicated. But I will share the secret with you. It’s simple, effective and durable. So read on.
Why do people smoke?
OK, tell me, why do you smoke or drink in the first place? Is it to feel good? No, there are a thousand other ways to feel good. You wouldn’t want to engage in these damned habits to make you feel good. In fact, you don’t really feel good by blowing up your life in smoke and drowning in hell. So tell me the truth, why do you smoke or drink?
To look cool, to ‘belong’ in a certain group, to impress the opposite sex…. No, silly. Those were the reasons that got you started. You were an idiot then. But now you know better. You have grown up since then. So now why do you smoke or drink?
“Because I’m addicted!” I hear you shout. “My body wants it. I can’t help it.”
Oh, no. You don’t drink or smoke because you are addicted. You drink and smoke because you have nothing better to do. That’s it.
Yes, you have nothing better to do. If you had, then you’d be doing those ‘better’ things. You would be pursuing more wholesome desires and doing something more constructive with your life. You wouldn’t be sitting there sucking the life out of yourself.
So how can I quit?
You cannot quit by trying to quit. You have tried many times already, haven’t you? You have thrown your packet of cigarettes into the trash can and begun chewing gum. You have emptied a whole bottle of whisky down the drain and vowed never to drink again. Everyone has tried these tricks, but then you know what happens the very next day, or a couple of days later. Old habits die hard and little tricks don’t work.
What you need is something larger than the habit itself. Remember what Einstein has said: “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”
You need to take a massive decision. You need to go for a compelling change. You need to create a quantum shift. What you need is a mission.
Yes, a mission. Not a mission to quit, but a mission for your life.
Remember what I said earlier – you’re following these dumb habits because you have nothing better to do. That is to say, you don’t have a mission for your life. You’re not following your passion and you’re not going for your dreams. You’re not living your life according to your true potential. That’s why these darn little habits are eating away your life just like termites eat wood and rust eats iron.
When you build a vision for your own life and go for your dreams, these pesky little habits crumble and dissipate on their own. They lose their power. They give up themselves at your mere decision to quit.
Here’s a line from the exceptional book Little Master that sums this idea so well:
“When you know your own greatness, petty things lose their sting.”
What can I do now?
You know what to do. First decide on your mission in life. Set goals for your future. Begin working towards those goals. Then you can talk about quitting.
“But I don’t know what my mission in life is. I don’t even know if I have any goals. How do I begin?”
Well, then, it looks like we have to begin from scratch.
First, sit down and have a good look at the wreck you have made out of yourself. Then look into the future. See yourself there. See yourself as the person you want to be. What kind of life do you want to live? What do you want to achieve? See yourself living that life, having achieved what you want to achieve. See yourself as a successful person who’s living the best life you can imagine.
Yes, see yourself in the future. Project yourself five or ten years into the future. You don’t see yourself smoking and drinking there, do you? Which means, in that future time, you have already quit these nagging habits. You are successful and happy there. You are using your talents and giving value to the world. You have found your mission in life.
There you are. What you just did was get a glimpse of the possibilities. You saw yourself as having quit the habit though at the moment you don’t have the slightest idea how you did it. You saw yourself as living a successful, mission-bound life even though you don’t yet know how that could be possible.
This is the beginning. See this vision every day. It won’t be long before new avenues begin to open up for you. You’ll begin to see possibilities where it seemed none existed before. You will feel a new surge of power within you.
Let the countdown begin.
Now you begin to realize who the boss here is. Certainly not that stupid roll of tobacco or that poor glass of vodka. They had taken the power over you because you had been weak, with no direction and mission in life. But now you know better. You are the boss. And your decision rules.
So, now is the time to act. Decide on a day when you will quit once and for all. I propose that you choose a special day, such as the New Year’s Day or your birthday. It’s going to be an important occasion – the beginning of a new life for you.
On that day you bid goodbye to your habit. You don’t smoke and you don’t drink any more. You have other more important things to do in life.
But then you may feel fidgety, quirky and shaky for a few days. That’s because your old habits have left a vacuum in you and you feel off balance. You have got to fill that vacuum with the seeds of your mission.
What is your mission again? What is it that you want to achieve in life? What do you want to be, do and have? Fill your days with the thoughts of your mission and work on your goals. Use every moment of your free time acquiring new knowledge and skills. Do the things that will fuel your passion and propel you towards your mission.
In other words, replace your dead habits with new and empowering ones.
That is the way it works.
You don’t quit major habits by using minor methods. You need to apply massive force. And what greater force can there be than the vision of your own life.
Have a vision for your life first, then you’ll see how easy it will be to quit. In fact, you won’t even have to quit; the habits that don’t serve your purpose will quit themselves.
I’ll leave you now with these two resounding quotes on vision:
“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” -Proverbs 29:18
“We go where our vision is.” – Joseph Edward Murphy
