Many people asked me what the reason for David’s death was. The Venetian hospital stated in autopsy results that the cause of death is massive internal bleeding caused by pancreatitis necrosis.
My conspiracy theory, which has no medical justification, is that it is associated with Covid.
I watched the news for the first time in weeks recently and found out that a million people have died from Covid worldwide, and it’s assumed that the second wave will cost another million lives.
I want to tell you about how David and I spent the lockdown. Despite being disorganized and a bit of a punk at heart, I’ve had to master some key homemaking skills over the years. I’ve raised two kids by myself, after all.
At the very start of lockdown, I diligently bought masks, gloves, medicines, ointments, sanitizers, and having grown up in the USSR and being familiar with the economy of scarcity – I got double quantities. I mastered the art of online shopping for EVERYTHING and was determined to stick to a strict quarantine. But since David and I lived on Portobello Road in the heart of a metropolis in a country, the new prime minister was basically Trump’s doppelganger. Boris Johnson regularly gave conflicting advice regarding the pandemic. In general, his line was, “those who die would gave died anyway, so don’t bother the government with such trifles.”
Until the prime minister finally caught Covid himself, then we didn’t hear from him for a while. He recovered, thanked the doctors and nurses in his hospital, and happily continued with the privatization of the UK’s medical system and his clownish speeches. While his main assistant, also Covid-stricken, nonchalantly traveled around the country as if nothing was wrong.
The Portobello market remained open as usual. Londoners did not wear masks or gloves. The general attitude towards the pandemic was, with few exceptions, condescending.
I want to express my respect and send rays of love to women: mothers and grandmothers. In most families, they are responsible for the well-being, safety, hygiene, and shopping – all the mundane housekeeping protocols.
It was tough for David to abide by the rules for isolation, not go to the market with, not meet with neighbors; he hated masks and continuously tried to reuse single-use gloves.
David (gently) complained about me to his friends, telling them how I “torture” him. In general, David was a heartfelt person, and his whining was in many ways boasting: “Look how Nika takes care and worries about me! “
However, I send rays of hatred to the careless idiots who giggled at my efforts to isolate and advised David to ignore my demands.
Of course, I feel to blame. David was an obedient Jewish husband. I could have put my foot down and demanded we leave immediately and spend the entire lockdown self-isolating in a remote village somewhere. But I didn’t. I don’t know why. I didn’t want to be a control freak or a strict wife.
We both started having strange symptoms in March. About once a week, we’d get headaches, felt muscle pain, tingling in the lungs, extreme tiredness (to the point of not being able to talk on the phone). Just continually wanting to sleep.
Then everything would go away, but after 5-8 days, the symptoms would repeat. We cared for each other tenderly: we brought tea with ginger and lemon and vitamins to each other. I mostly slept all day, and David took hot baths.
Later I recovered completely, while David developed strange new symptoms. It all started with a peculiar soapy taste in his mouth. He felt it after meals and said it continued throughout the day. We stopped using washing liquid on our dishes. David went to the dentist and had his gums deep cleaned several times to prevent inflammation. He got (several!) root canal treatments. We didn’t know what else we could do.
He got an antibody test. The result was negative.
A while later, he began feeling a tingling sensation in his fingertips. He attributed this to practicing too much guitar playing. Then the tingling began in his toes and legs too. Fatigue. Mild but persistent abdominal pain; digestive disorders. But primarily constant fatigue. We consulted various doctors. We did various tests. First, in London, then in Berlin.
All the doctors said the same thing: there are no obvious symptoms, but you have “post-viral syndrome”, wait, and everything will pass.
And we waited.
David was tested for Covid at clinics in Venice, with negative results. When I asked if his death could be related to Covid, the doctor replied, “if you test positive for Covid, then you have Covid. A negative test does not mean that you do not have it.” And I feel the same way as his doctor. I feel that Covid was a reason why he developed this strange and bizarre illness so rapidly. I blame for this the joke-government of Boris Johnson and general human stupidity and self-reliance.
David died of necrotic pancreatitis and internal bleeding, but why suddenly the healthy, totally never-drinking-alcohol David would develop this disease. Why would it be so sudden and quick? Why did such strange symptoms accompany it? Why did it start right after we thought we had Covid?
Here is an article about the relationship between Covid and pancreatitis (via Steve Keen).
Please, stay safe,
Nika Dubrovsky
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