A spokesman for ISIS, talking exclusively to ‘The Dorset Echo’ today expressed deep disappointment with the results of their recent recruitment drive in Dorset. ‘This has been a frustrating experience all round’ said Ali ibn-al Shariah, Director of HR and Balaclavas for the Caliphate. ‘We’ve come to see the UK as a source of rich pickings over the last few years with plenty of enthusiastic young men and women prepared to come and join our fight. I guess our enthusiasm at those successes has probably got the better of us, and that led us to widening our net. Our usual Twitter campaign under the hashtag #CountryfolkCaliphate drew no responses so we decided to go for a more direct approach. We managed to smuggle a couple of operatives into Cerne Abbas under cover of darkness with a view to engaging directly with the locals. We got one message on FaceBook asking what ‘Scrumpy‘ was, but not a word since, although there has been a sighting of two ‘Asian looking blokes’ driving a Tractor in Tincleton. Whatever that is’.
The Echo sent a reporter to Tincleton, but it was shut.
Robin Armstrong is fifty and bloody feels like it. He was born and educated in Dorchester, Dorset, when Hardye’s School was more akin to Hogwarts than the office block it is now. He subsequently got lost in London for 25 years before finally finding his way back to the rural idyll in 2010
He now lives in the middle of nowhere and spends his life working and driving miles to buy a pint of milk. Any remaining time is dedicated to being a treatment resistant smoker, wine lover and occasional comedy writer. He is also a nurse, father, husband and general know-all.
He has no further ambitions in life and is allergic to IKEA and chickpeas.
