It’s the end of the Tories as we know it and we feel fine

Some things are merely symbolic. Other things are literal and animate. From Thursday 6 May 2010 until 4 July 2024 the country has been hanging upside down on a rollercoaster. From every angle, screams. And yet the corporate media conspired to pretend the screams were the sounds of joy and enough people in our antiquated voting system kept falling for it. They effectively kept voting for more screaming. Therefore, 2010, 2015, 2017 and 2019 became opportunites for torture not progessive change. First, propped up by the Lib Dems and then the Democratic Unionist Party, the instuments of torture and obfuscation played a very significant part in the fourteen year journey.

Some of the significant events of the past fourteen years to generally wince about.

2010

• General Election (May 6): Resulted in a hung parliament.
• Coalition Government (May 11): Conservative Party, led by David Cameron, forms a coalition with the Liberal Democrats, led by Nick Clegg.

2011

• Alternative Vote Referendum (May 5): The UK voted against changing the voting system from First Past the Post to the Alternative Vote.

2012

• Olympic Games (July 27 – August 12): London hosts the Summer Olympics, providing a boost to national morale.

2014

• Scottish Independence Referendum (September 18): Scotland votes to remain part of the United Kingdom.

2015

• General Election (May 7): The Conservative Party wins a majority, and David Cameron continues as Prime Minister.

2016

• EU Referendum (June 23): The UK votes to leave the European Union (Brexit).
• David Cameron Resigns (July 13): Following the Brexit vote, Theresa May becomes Prime Minister.

2017

• General Election (June 8): Resulted in a hung parliament; Theresa May’s Conservative Party forms a minority government with support from the Democratic Unionist Party (DUP).

2018

• Brexit Negotiations: Ongoing negotiations with the EU dominate UK politics.

2019

• Theresa May Resigns (July 24): Boris Johnson becomes Prime Minister.
• Brexit Deadline Extensions: Multiple extensions to the Brexit deadline.
• General Election (December 12): Conservative Party wins a significant majority under Boris Johnson.

2020

• Brexit Transition Period: The UK officially leaves the EU on January 31, but enters a transition period.
• COVID-19 Pandemic: Dominates political and public life; lockdowns and government responses impact every aspect of life.

2021

• Brexit Transition Period Ends (January 1): The UK exits the EU Single Market and Customs Union.
• COVID-19 Pandemic: Continued impact, with vaccination rollout and restrictions.

2022

• Partygate Scandal: Allegations of parties held at 10 Downing Street during COVID-19 lockdowns.
• Ukraine Crisis: UK government response to Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
• Boris Johnson Resigns (July 7): Following a series of scandals, Boris Johnson announces his resignation.
• Liz Truss Becomes Prime Minister (September 6): Wins Conservative Party leadership contest.
• Mini-Budget Crisis (September 23): Controversial economic policies lead to market turmoil and political backlash.
• Liz Truss Resigns (October 20): After just 44 days, Truss steps down.
• Rishi Sunak Becomes Prime Minister (October 25): Wins Conservative Party leadership contest.

2023

• Cost of Living Crisis: Rising inflation and economic challenges dominate the political agenda.
• Local Elections (May 4): Significant losses for the Conservative Party, gains for Labour and Liberal Democrats.

2024

• Huge losses in May 2 Local elections for the Conservative Party.

• General Election July 4. What will the future bring?

The Scandals

Once the election is called the ineptitude and incompetency of the Conservative government comes home to roost.

A calamitous start to the election campaign for the Tories.

They have kicked @SkyNews out of their launch event.

😂😂pic.twitter.com/7gBHlfKUtF

— Newham Independents 🇵🇸💛 (@NewhamIndParty) May 22, 2024

Charles Walker MP could not have put it plainer.

Ironic seeing Charles Walker on tv. Previous words of his sum up the last 14 years frankly.#c4news #generalelectionpic.twitter.com/CwylgT3cSD

— Jay (@JibbaJabb) May 22, 2024

Looking back over the last fourteen years we turn momentarily to satire to file the edges of agony away.

Once upon a time, in the beleaguered land of Britannia, the weary citizens found themselves shackled by fourteen long years of Tory rule. Austerity had tightened its icy grip, squeezing every ounce of joy from their daily lives. Lies, corruption, greed, incompetence, and narcissism had become the hallmarks of governance, leaving the people in a perpetual state of despondency.

The five Prime Ministers, embodying every negative quality imaginable, strutted about the grand halls of Parliament like a peacock in a cheap suit. Their cronies, each more sycophantic than the last, fawned over their every word, no matter how nonsensical. Policies were devised in the shadows, where the elite toasted to their own success while the common folk counted pennies to afford their next meal.

In the penumbrae of this oppressive regime, a glimmer of hope began to emerge. The citizens, long suffering but not defeated, rallied together. They whispered in hushed tones of a day when the Tories would be but a distant, nightmarish memory. They dreamed of leaders who understood their plight and sought not to enrich themselves, but to serve the people.

Then the tides turned. The polls began to reveal that the torment might be about to cease. Although some were turning to werewolves to save them, the majority just wanted a quieter time in which a party meant unifying and not dancing and getting drunk while people died.

The Conservative Prime Ministers, now a mere horrific footnote in history, were last seen muttering to themselves as they headed to corruption elsewhere. Their cronies, bereft of their power, scattered to the winds, seeking refuge in boardrooms.

The new leader entered NO. 10 and as he did so he turned to the cameras and reporters and boldly stated:

‘Where there is discord, may we bring harmony. Where there is error, may we bring truth. Where there is doubt, may we bring faith. And where there is despair, may we bring hope’ ….

And those of us old enough to remember fell to our knees and began to weep.

On a brighter note:

RISHI SUNAK HAS CALLED A GENERAL ELECTION FOR 4 JULY.

It's the end of the Tories (and I feel fine). pic.twitter.com/vKz4VhVaD8

— PoliticsJOE (@PoliticsJOE_UK) May 22, 2024

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