Prime Minister,
Your now thoroughly Broken Britain has a new vice, it seems – one of exploiting the misery of people who, regardless of taxes that they’ve paid, are still compelled to spend their drastically reduced disposable income on items that part of those taxes are meant to cover. Yesterday I heard about Christchurch in Dorset, where the council is profiteering from the sale of sandbags at £30 for a pack of four. Today we can see just how much profit they’re making on those items because it turns out that Jewson were charging just £2.25 per bag.
That is, until they decided to increase their price in order to exploit the situation in flood-struck Egham for profit, by raising that price per Jewson bag to £3.80. Christchurch Council would still have to provide seven bags to match that price.
So, in this free market economy that you rave on about so much, maybe it’s time that the general public stopped giving money to your public sector that is failing, miserably, to keep up its end of the taxation bargain. Instead, perhaps we should be diverting that tax money to cover the excessive price being levied by a private sector company which, although it is openly profiteering from the flooding problem, at least delivers a proper service in return.
Of course, if you were genuinely more concerned about the plight of flood-stricken communities than you were about putting your hand up and admitting that cutting flood defence funding was wrong, you’d have no difficulty in approaching the EU for the hand-out for which they’re wondering why you haven’t applied yet. This in spite of it having been well over ten weeks since the floods first hit Somerset. Have you so brainwashed yourself that you believe that this would leave you open to accusations of living in a “culture of entitlement” or are you simply concerned that, like all the people being denied benefits that we’ve paid taxes for, you’d be seen as hypocritical if you claimed against the EU insurance, the way we do against the nation’s welfare fund, in a time of genuine need?
Oh… hang on… it’s the accountability thing, isn’t it? Your Party of self-serving parasites wouldn’t be able to use that money as “expenses” to buy their iPads, or plasma TV’s so they can snigger at Kyle’s chain of chav dead-heads during their coffee break. No, you’re right (far right actually.) Much better to keep demonising the source of relief cash that could actually do some good for the people for whose welfare you’re responsible. That’ll keep all your little Eurosceptic nazis happy, and never mind that babies in the stockbroker belt are being hospitalised with diarrhoea and vomiting, because of the germs being transmitted to them from the floodwater from which your (ir)responsible Minister in DEFRA has FAILED to defend them.
Yes, now I understand your “money no object” comments entirely. If you don’t apply to the EU for money, the anti-EU Brigade won’t object. You’ll have to forgive me – sometimes it takes a while for the penny (sic) to drop for me these days. Maybe I’m too far away from the political power-house to be picking up on this kind of thing automatically. Perhaps if I was to become a “campaign volunteer” that might help. After all, since Psychosmiffy took over at the DWP I’ve become, like thousands of others, kind of used to living on next to nothing. I’ve been saving up though, and last time I did my inadequate shopping I also managed to splash out on two Biros and a Bulldog clip all by myself. Yay Me! eh? I did think about applying to HMRC to have them written off as a business expense, like you do, because – also like you – I’m in the business of trying blag a job that’ll still be mine after 2015. But then I stopped and wondered what the Daily Fail would make of that, so I’ve decided not to bother.
I’ll find out today if my local Independent candidate has a vacancy for the kind of hard-working, but apparently non-working role that your Party likes to provide, according to the folks at GraduateFog. After all, as all of you hope to be hopping (back) onto the gravy train in the future you’re all pretty much of a muchness, and I wouldn’t want the Fail’s reporters doorstepping me to find out how much I claimed in expenses throughout the campaign. They’ve got far more important news, like non-existent fake sunsets in China, to be bringing to the attention of the Tweed Knickers Brigade.
Sincerely,
Darren Lynch
https://www.reuters.com/article/2014/02/12/us-eu-britain-floods-idUSBREA1B1KX20140212
https://graduatefog.co.uk/2014/2915/politics-internship-conservative-tory-david-cameron-intern/
