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The Tea Maker
More than one at a time
It’s generally accepted that women are the ultimate multi-taskers because they can do lots of completely unassociated tasks simultaneously.
They can make a meal while speaking on the telephone, giving instructions to children, ironing their clothes and giving separate instructions to their spouses or partners, plus they’re still able to participate in other conversations with two or three friends who have popped in for a chat.
If you’ve ever watched a group of women chatting, they all seem to be speaking at exactly the same time, all on completely different subjects. It’s mind-blowing.
They are also capable of reading a book and watching a television programme at the same time. And, with complete ease, they can drive a car, put on make-up, listen to the radio and hold tele-conferences on their hands-free kit, again all at the same time.
I can’t do multi-tasking because each side of my brain operates independently from the other side. I think most men’s brains are the same because, according to medical research, there are far fewer connections between the right and left sides of a man’s brain than a woman’s. So a man’s life is a series of simple, independent steps, which explains my inability to cope with two things at once. Three or more things are completely out of the question.
Here are some examples of things I can’t do very easily, or at all. I’m not sure if other men have the same problems of if they have other problems. It would be interesting to find out.
I have to mute the television if I answer the telephone.
Reading makes me go deaf. I can’t hear a thing people say to me.
I have to turn off the car radio to look at a roadmap, or negotiate the streets of a strange city, or reverse park into a tight space.
If I stop writing one of these stories half way through for a sip of coffee, I have to read the whole thing again to see what I’m meant to be writing about.
If I have to hang a picture on the living room wall, there’s no way I can arrive at the wall with the picture, a picture hook and a hammer all at the same time. If I do manage to gather together the picture, the picture hook and a hammer all at the same time, it’s a fair bet I will nail the picture to the wrong wall.
There’s more but I’m beginning to embarrass myself.
The Tea Maker
PS: You can comment on this story by emailing me at [email protected] and I’ll respond to your emails in next week’s column.
