It has been confirmed that Oliver Letwin Dorset MP will not be running for the next election.
Oliver has recognized that although endorsing the recent badger culls has kept his tennis courts renovated he has got slightly into a pickle with the whole moral issue and he is now spending a large part of his wages on private security firms to keep animal rights activists at bay.
Oliver Letwin supports fox hunting as a “personal choice” although he recognizes it is a bit grim and savage sometimes but he would simply not know how to be kept in the lifestyle he has become accustomed to if it were not for the farming vote.
After outweighing the pros and cons of midnight phone calls from animal rights activists and the perks of posh dinners up at parliament Oli has decided he better quit whilst he is ahead and has enough cash to live on for a few days until he finds a new job
We wish Oliver farewell and thank you for all you have done for Dorset which has been to support the closing of the special care baby unit At Dorchester hospital on the premise that babies dont really need that much care. And we recognize the wonderful contribution to the needy and the homeless of Dorset for dropping off that food parcel that one time.
If it were not for the likes of Oliver Letwin we would not have our pot holes filled in and we would certainly be spending far too much money on our new born babies.
So As Oliver Letwin joins the likes of mark doggrell for that very special, rural Hunt ball we wish him farewell and good luck in his life and we are hoping he starts that new college course soon or perhaps gets to open that corner cafe.
Oliver Letwin and Mark Doggrell are setting up a community fundraising event to raise cash for the air ambulance as they they recognize that Fox hunting does get dangerous at times. Tim Bonner , the director for the Countryside Alliance entirely agrees that a special fund should be put by for the odd accident such as the broken neck or ribs and agrees that special contingency fund should be set up to cover the costs of the air ambulances when fox hunters get a bit carried away.
So anyway, we wish Oliver Letwin a very special thank you and good wishes for the future.
Kate Bradley
