Just cleared out my post-box and there was a letter from May in there, suggesting that I should vote Conservative on 8 June.
Me being the ornery bastard that I can be, I have replied, as follows. It’s quite lengthy, so grab a coffee/tea/HC before you settle in to read 🙂 :
Sent to: Prime Minister; Maria Miller MP; Leader, Labour Party (cc)
Subject: Your Canvassing Letter
Good morning,
I have just received your canvassing letter, purporting to explain the difference between your Party and Labour and the approach to the forthcoming Brexit negotiations. And, as you’ve been so kind as to tell me why I should vote Conservative on 8 June, I shall repay your kindness with my own, by telling you why there is more chance of you surviving naked on the Moon than there is of me following your advice.
Let’s start with the NHS, which saved my mother’s life after she developed septicaemia while she was carrying me, and then saved my life when I was four years old and suffered a ruptured appendix. You call the creature with the misprint surname, “a good Health Secretary” because he’s doing what you want, which is to destroy the NHS. Jeremy Corbyn intend to reverse the appalling damage that C… *H*unt has done. This, in my view, is an intelligent policy.
What is not intelligent, by any standard, is moving to introduce a system in this country in which the poor and socially disadvantaged would have no access to healthcare under Conservative plans. With wages being artificially suppressed by your Party’s beloved zero-hours contracts and workfare, how is any ordinary worker supposed to afford the £120 minimum monthly premium for private treatment, assuming no pre-existing conditions? And what will happen to them because they cannot possibly afford such a ludicrous commitment?
You carry on about Brexit and how you’re the best option to be our prime minister overseeing the negotiations. But what is also not intelligent, again by any standard, is insulting the bajazus out of the people who are going to be facing our negotiating team across the table. At least if Jeremy Corbyn wins on 8 June, we can start with smiles all round instead of the inevitable hostility from the EU side, that you’ve created with your nasty, spiteful mouth.
Then there is the matter of the detested, humiliating, degrading Work Capability Assessment that Camera-on & Oddspawn took over from their war-criminal-led plastic Tory mates in 2010 and turned into a regime of mental and physical torture for disabled people like myself. Jeremy Corbyn wants to abolish it, while your braying bunch of moronic Hooray Henrys want the suffering to continue. Your Party has deliberately and – I am strongly convinced – with as much malice aforethought as they could muster, caused the untimely deaths of over 80,000 disabled and seriously ill people in the United Kingdom. No government in post WWII times has been responsible for so much carnage.
Government borrowing: You have the gall to accuse Labour of planning to borrow to fund all of their policies when this is so obviously not the case, according to their manifesto, yet the Conservatives, since 2010, have borrowed more than all historic Labour governments combined!! Labour will tax fairly those who can afford to pay more, while your government has persistently taken people out of tax liability purely in order to reduce available funding for social care, welfare and other services that make day-to-day living a decent experience.
Election expenses: Either we have 14 completely incompetent police services in the UK, or the Crown Prosecution Service has become thoroughly corrupt under Tory stewardship of this country. And don’t claim to have no influence over them. They have a .GOV.UK website FGS and are funded by the Treasury! Apparently as long as their decisions don’t harm the electoral chances of Tory MP’s anyway…
Tax avoidance and evasion: HMRC should have, long ago, been given the authority to ban tax dodging corporations from trading in the UK. ISP’s should have been instructed to bar access to Amazon; Vodafone should have been cut from the airwaves; Starbucks should have been ordered to close up every one of their branches, and had their entire stock confiscated; Google – ditto Amazon. Was HMRC given the power to achieve these measures to force those companies to pay what they owed? Were they hell! When it comes to the corporate giants, your government has made Britain the laughing stock of the international community. Putin is right – Britain has become a senescent Imperial has-been that is not worth taking seriously any more.
I think anyone who relies on seeing a fox being ripped to shreds in order to moisten their panties is sub-human – in some way an evolutionary throwback to a more primitive genus of homo, because no self-respecting homo sapiens sapiens would be able to live with their conscience if they participated in such an horrific pastime. The ban on fox-hunting might, I suggest, be responsible for the lack of Maylets as the required stimulus for moistening of the nether regions has been absent. Or, of course, it might simply be a lack of the mothering instinct that is present in all true humans, because NO self-respecting mother of genus homo sapiens sapiens would ever stand by and watch over children being denied the essential minerals and nutrients they need to grow up strong and healthy.
I do have to congratulate you on the tartan trouser suit though. Very creative use of excess sofa-covering material there. Well done.
You want to denigrate and outright insult well-intentioned MP’s like Mr Corbyn, Mrs May? You’d better be well-prepared to take some flak then, because I’m a past master at dishing out insults.
Finally, Mrs May, there’s the matter of your own character. Since you stabbed Dr Vanessa Gearson in the back over Duncan Smith’s financial malpractice in 2003 you have been established in my mind as a vile, self-absorbed, egocentric, spiteful and piss-poor excuse for a woman. You’re the type who bets on a horse, then switches your bet in mid-race when it becomes apparent that the other horse is going to win. You are, in short, a moral coward.
I would rather vote for Jeremy Corbyn’s alleged “coalition of chaos” (even though I’m not hearing anything about any proposed coalitions from the Labour team) than I would for an inveterate liar who has all the backbone of a common amoeba, Mrs May. At least, if JC’s as bad as you claim, life will be interesting and fun to wake up to each morning. Except he isn’t bad at all, and you and you bunch of braying jackasses are shit-scared of him and the fairness and decency that he represents.
And you should warn your creatures that if they knock on my door there will be unbridled and totally uncontrolled violence involving very sharp, pointy objects committed against them. My utter hatred of all things Tory knows no bounds. Your Party has taught me to hate since 2010, and for that I shall never forgive you.
I trust this makes my position clear. I could have mentioned council houses and the sales thereof, but merely considering the Late and Unlamented Hag makes me want to throw up, so I refrained.
Enjoy the picture.
Sincerely,
