A Helpful Guide
STEP 1.
Shave that big auld heed of yours and saturate yourself in a bit of authentic British cuisine doon the nearest Indian takeaway. Extra points if you chase this up wi a traditional English kebab or your face turns a nice shade of Masala when you’re enraged.
STEP 2.
Get yourself oan the Register… Granted, this takes a bit of forward planning. But nothing screams “PROTECT ARE KIDS” like a good old stretch in jail for bein a threat to humanity.
STEP 3.
Make sure you warm up effectively by pissin up the side of the nearest war memorial and looting Greggs… or let’s face it, you’re just being insincere.
STEP 4.
Our flags won’t impregnate themselves… how loyal are you really if you’re not shaggin a harem of mutant flags you’ve made outta 4 feral pillow cases and red Sharpy?
STEP 5. ROUNDABOUTS!!!
The biggest threat to Nashionul Securitee since forever. Naked roundabouts have been known to attract upwards of 200 dinghys a day… They must be painted and REBORN so that we don’t mistake ARE shores for the coast of fucking France.
STEP 6.
DO NOT BECOME COMPLACENT OR LET LOGIC AFFECT YOU. Remember that THEY are taking ARE jobs whilst simultaneously claiming £1000’s in benefits… and you know, Sadik the Rocket Scientist is single handedly responsible for you being on the Dole for 30 years.
The arsehole.
You’re good to go full Gammon now pal! Don’t forget to perfect your dribble and make sure your teeth look like 2 feral Sugarpuffs furiously committed to social distancing.
God speed.
https://www.facebook.com/Swearyweeme
