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The Tea Maker
I went with Senior Management to the supermarket last week and had a really bad time. There were a few reasons for my lack of enjoyment.
Children
There were lots of children. Mothers think that everyone else loves their children as much as they do. Well, they don’t. I wish parents would understand that no one actually likes their kids. Behind all those nice smiles they get from strangers is pure exasperation – if not hatred.
Family Shopping
Why must the whole family go shopping? Why do the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and seventeen kids all have to make the trek to the supermarket to pick up a weekend’s shopping for fuck’s sake.
Meetings
You may not have seen the other couple for ten years but that’s no reason to have impromptu meetings at the junction of the two busiest aisles in Tesco. You’re so wrapped up in your little reunion that you’re oblivious to the fucken chaos you’re causing. Just arrange to meet them outside. If you’ve not seen them for ten fucken years, what difference will another ten minutes make?
Payments
I’m sorry, I don’t want to sound sexist but women are the fucken worst when it comes to this. They stand there waiting for someone to pack away their groceries. Then they watch the checkout person tally up the cost of everything and issue the receipt. Then, and only then, does it dawn on them that they have to pay for all this shit. So they now have to rake through their handbags and find their purse and credit card – all with that glazed look on their face that says, “Wow, if I’d just remembered that I had to pay for this I could have been prepared.”
Fucken idiots. My wife does the same by the way.
The Tea Maker
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