Chapter 40 Burning the Midnight Oil
As soon as the decision had been given on the Lokchapi development Rebecca closed her note pad and put her pen in her bag, got up and walked briskly out of the meeting room. The hot, heavy, still air outside was cool in comparison with the suffocating temperature of the meeting room and Rebecca breathed a sigh of relief, she briefly congratulated Mr. Kennedy on his performance and getting the application refused before jogging across the car lot to her car. She jumped in and with tyres squealing on the hot blacktop sped away from town hall. As she drove she put all she had just heard to the back of her mind and ran through a list of things that she needed to accomplish that afternoon, night and next day to get her big story completed to her satisfaction. There were a couple of minor adjustments that she still, at this late hour wanted to make, then a final edit and copy read through before she would be satisfied with her work. She wished that she had completed her story by now and that the next twenty four hours would be a relaxing wind down but she knew in her heart that her best work always came as a result of pressure.
It had always been the same at school, high school and college, all of her work would be completed right at the last possible moment. That is not to say that she left her work untouched until the last, she would always make an immediate start, plan its contents and work steadily through, but she would not make the final adjustments to content, ordering or checking and correcting until the last moment. This is when she would be infused with a flush of creative inspiration that would provide her with the insight and drive to hone her work, achieving a level of excellence that put her a cut above her peers in anything she put her mind to.
Once home she dashed into the kitchen, shouted ‘hi’ to her mom who was unexpectedly at home, fixed herself a couple of rounds of sandwiches, grabbed a large ice cold bottle of coke from the refrigerator and quickly retreated upstairs to her bedroom. She devoured her sandwiches and gulped down nearly half a litre of ice cold coke which resulted in an ear splitting burp that her brothers would have been proud of before settling herself down at her desk and turning her computer on. She started by re-reading all of her article from start to finish, then re-reading from cover to cover the file she had been given by Lottie before making any changes, alterations of corrections. She decided to do a complete re-write, good as the article sounded in her head when she re-read it there was just something missing. A turn of phrase her or there maybe, more detail or too wordy in parts, all she knew was that it was not quite right. It was just gone eleven at night when her door squeaked open and her mom’s head peered into the gloom.
“You alright Becs? You didn’t come down for dinner earlier so I thought you must be getting hungry by now.”
Rebecca’s mother said as she entered the room with a tray filled with a plate of cold meat, fries and salad, a couple of Rebecca’s favourite Dunkin Doughnuts and a tall glass of orange juice. Rebecca was deep in thought staring at the text in front of her on her computer screen.
“Ugh huh mom.”
She replied, not really having heard what her mother had said.
“C’mon Becs we know you are working hard on your big story but you must remember to eat…., got to feed the grey matter you know.”
Her mother said as she put the tray of food next to Rebecca on her desk then sat down gently o her bed behind her in the glow of the computer screen. Rebecca stretched, rubbed her eyes and let out a long yawn.
“Aaaaarrrrr, hey thanks mom I’m starving.”
She said as she speared a couple of crisp fries with her fork.
“How’s it going?”
Her mother enquired as Rebecca munched hungrily through the dinner that had been brought up for her.
“Oh really well thanks mom I’m half way through a complete rewrite, I’ll stop at midnight for a break for an hour or so, then work through to six, sleep till ten, four hours final edit and copy checking and correcting then I’ll be off to the Gazette like a bullet. Mr Ashlock wants this in by the latest four p.m. because he wants his lawyers to have run through it by seven pm which will give me two hours to make any changes needed ready to go to print at nine pm, … or at the latest ten p.m. Mr Ashlock said.”
Rebecca’s mother sat silently while Rebecca polished of her dinner and doughnuts.
“Looks like another storm is approaching Bec’s.”
She said as another distant flash momentarily illuminated the window curtain
“Mmmm…., yuuh ……, it does.”
Rebecca mumbled through a mouthful of chocolate doughnut.
“Well I’ll just leave you to it…. Now make sure you get some sleep now won’t you?”
Her mother said as she stood to leave Rebecca to her work.
“Yes mom I promise…., any more doughnuts and a large coffee, pleeeeease.”
Rebecca asked in a put on sugary sweet pleading voice.
“Ok I’ll be back up in a moment.”
Rebecca turned back to her computer screen and within seconds had immersed herself back in her work. The words flowed freely as she typed, stopping every now and then to consider a word, a phrase or a punctuation mark. She was so engrossed she didn’t notice her mother return with a large mug of steaming coffee and a plate piled high with doughnuts. It was only the smell of the strong coffee wafting across her desk that alerted her mind to another intake of caffeine and sugar, something her brain craved.
At midnight Rebecca was about three fifths completed by her reckoning, she stopped as she had promised, saved her work, saved it again to her pen drive back up and lay back on her bed. She put in one of her IPod earphones and selected shuffle, leaned over to set her alarm to one thirty just in case she fell asleep and rested her head back on her pillow. Public Enemy’s ‘Fight The Power’ was the first track to reverberate around inside her head as she rested her eyes, followed by John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’, then Bob Marley’s’ Misty Morning’, then the Doors ‘Break on Through’ and Marvin Gaye’s ‘what’s Going On?’ the final words her mind consciously registered were those of Alicia Keys ‘New York’, which danced across her mind as it drifted off into the land of dreams.
An explosive crashing followed by a deafening booming rumble detonated directly above Rebecca’s home as a bolt of lightening struck a tree a couple of blocks away. Rebecca’s mind was wrenched from the comfort of a deep dreamy sleep and thrust back into the present and all too real storm that rumbled and crashed its way slowly over Ville Platte. She lay there suddenly wide awake, glanced at her alarm clock, it was only twelve twenty five, and she hadn’t even been asleep for half an hour. As she sat up on her bed untangling herself from the lead to her IPod earphones a blinding flash accompanied at almost the exactly the same time by an ear splitting shattering sound like thousands of panes of glass all breaking at once pulsed through her bedroom. She physically jumped and all went dark.
“Shit, Shit a fuckin power cut.”
She shouted,
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” she continued before letting out a scream of pure frustration. She hadn’t finished her work by any stretch of the imagination and who knows how long the power would be out.
Her bedroom door was flung open and her father bounded in flashlight in hand.
“You ok Bec’s.”
He called as the beam of his flashlight caught his daughter.
“Yes dad I’m fine, it’s just that I haven’t finished my work and now look we’ve got no power.”
She replied as tears started to roll down her cheeks.
“Hey now Bec’s, come here an give your pa a good old hug, don’t worry we’ll sort something out, … there now don’t cry.”
He kissed his daughter on the forehead.
“Just sit tight there for a moment and I’ll be back.”
Her father left the room and Rebecca sat silently on her bed in the dark, she could hear muffled voices then someone going down stairs and the front door slamming. She popped over to her window and looked out. The street was pitch black illuminated every twenty seconds or so by a bright blue white flash. One particular long and bright flash illuminated the figure of her eldest brother running down their drive to the garage recovery truck that was parked on the street. She heard it start up, its lights went on and it drove off into the night.
“I’ve sent your brother down to the garage to fetch up our generator, he’ll be back in fifteen minutes and ten after that you’ll have power.”
Rebecca squealed with delight as she turned and flung her arms around her father’s neck.
“Thanks Dad.”
“Don’t thank me Bec’s thank your brother when he gets back, he was not best pleased to be sent out in this storm.”
“Ok Dad and thanks anyway.”
By the time Rebecca’s brother returned with his father’s two kilowatt generator, started it and run an extension lead up to Rebecca’s bedroom the storm was moving off across country. It was not a particularly big storm it was just that it happened to strike a transformer on a utility pole one block down the street from her house and knock out the power for six blocks surrounding it. As power was restored to Rebecca’s bedroom she thought about the full night of work ahead of her.
‘At least the air would be fresher in the morning’, she concluded with a contented smile and sigh of relief. She gave her brother a big hug before he turned to leave her bedroom then once he had gone quietly closed the door behind him and sat down at her desk, clearing her mind of the events of the last thirty minutes she focused her mind back onto her work. She had just less than five hours before six in the morning then she would stop and sleep until ten. As she worked the earlier storm rumbled off into the distance to be replaced by the distant rumbles of another storm as it made its way slowly across country from the west. This storm was larger and more ferocious by a magnitude and advanced across the country with a massive one hundred mile wide active storm front that was lashing some parishes in the state with and onslaught of near golf ball sized hail, torrential rain, near hurricane force winds and an almost unbelievable display of continuous lightening and ear splitting thunder.
By two thirty the storm was directly overhead, the wind outside roared as it drove a torrent of rain before it across the countryside, trees bent double as they were caught in full leaf and acted like the sails of a great sailing ship of old. Rebecca stopped working and looked out of her window as the storm howled and crashed outside. It looked as if it was day as the lightening flashed in a continual stream of flashes that overlapped and competed for brightness. The colours were a vivid silver white, bluish white, bluish purpley white and pure blinding white which were coming from different areas of the overhead storm clouds, shooting shadows off at mad angles that fought with the shadows from other lightening flashes before fading into nothingness. Rebecca stood spell bound at her window as the rain fell in an unbelievable deluge. She had witnessed storms and heavy rain before but this was something different, she was just about to go and see if her parents or brothers were watching the storm when her bedroom door creaked open and her mom peered in.
Hey hun you watchin this too, it’s amazing, I’ve never seen the like.”
She said as she entered Rebecca’s room, kettle in hand, before Rebecca could reply she continued
“Seein as you’re the only one with power and me and your dad fancied a coffee while we watch the storm I thought I’d just plug in here, do want one hun?
“Please Mom here’s my mug.”
While Rebecca’s mother made late night drinks for the storm watchers Rebecca continued watching the storm batter the world outside, a couple of crashes of thunder directly overhead made her physically jump and she felt its shockwave reverberate through the house to its foundations.
With a hot mug of coffee in one hand and a plateful of cookies in the other Rebecca returned to her desk and to her work. The storm continued its assault on Evangeline as it rolled slowly overhead and by five am it was just a faint distant rumble to the east. Rebecca had made great progress and an hour earlier than planned felt she had perfected the content of her article, any changes or adjustments now would only have a negative effect, all that was needed was the final edit and copy read to catch any last mistakes and all would be done. As earlier she saved her work, saved I again to her pen drive as back up then with a contented smile set her alarm clock for ten in the morning before climbing into her bed, by the time her eyelids shut she was asleep.
Her sleep was a troubled one, restlessly tossing and turning as strange dreams flowed across her unconscious mind. At one point she was directing the thunder and lightening of a storm as if she was an orchestral conductor, then she was serving her customers at Rooster Browns. All of the trays and plates piled high with food became too hot to hold and she dropped them only to see them fly off on their own across the diner and settle in front of the awaiting customers. Each customer responded in the same way by turning to her and blowing her a kiss which sailed back across the diner to her as a glowing red ball to land gently on her lips, each one sending tingling electrical impulses all over her body. This dream got stranger as it developed and before she knew it she was being bombarded with glowing kisses from all direction with each one delivering a larger and larger shock until finally she fainted.
The final dream she remembered was of arriving at the offices of the Gazette and rushing into Mr. Ashlock’s office with her laptop in her bag and pen drive safely tucked in the front pocket of her jeans as backup. As she knocked, then opened the door and rushed into his office she found Mr. Ashlock in a meeting with Lottie, Mr Clarke, Mr Meek, Mr J.C Kellar, Mr Toup, with her mother serving everyone with mugs of steaming coffee and plates piled high with doughnuts dripping with melted chocolate, her brother was standing in the middle of the table connecting a cable into the overhead light socket. She stopped in her tracks and everyone turned to face her, for a moment all was silent then they all burst out laughing, pointing at her and slapping each other on the back in between explosive eruptions of laughter.
Her mother was laughing so much that tears rolled down her cheeks and fell on the office floor like a deluge of torrential rain. Before she could gather her thoughts she was distracted by a noise behind her and she turned to be blinded by the hand held lighting of a TV camera crew. She squinted in the dazzling brightness of the camera lighting, trying to make out what was happening when suddenly a microphone was shoved in front of her and out of the glare. Aston Kutcher’s face appeared with a huge grin spread across it and said,
“Hey Rebecca you’ve been punkd”
She turned back into the office to see Mr. Meek and her friend Jerome squirting each other in the face with glowing silly string and laughing around like two old college pals. She stood there rooted to the spot horrified.
“Jerome, Jerome what are you doing?” she shouted but her shouts were drowned out by the ever louder laughter and the distant clanging of a bell. From behind her someone was tugging one her shoulder.
“Rebecca, Rebecca, Hey Bec’s C’mon.”
As she turned to look her dream faded out and was replaced by the face of her mother.
“C’mon Bec’s your alarm has been going off for nearly five minutes now,…. C’mon you wanted to get up by ten to finish your work, that’s what you told me last night.”
Rebecca yawned and smiled.
“Thanks mom, I was having the weirdest dream.”
She said as she slowly sat up and stretched.
“I’ve put some coffee and Cornflakes on your desk for you, power has been back on about twenty minutes so when you’re done you can get yourself a nice refreshing shower.”
Rebecca nodded as her mother turned and walked out of her room; she leaned over and turned her alarm clock off, swung her legs out of the bed and with a jump was up. Her last dream still haunted her though and was as vivid in her mind as if it had just actually happened.
‘Was it a warning of some kind …, is she just about to make a complete fool of herself’.
She asked herself as she waited for her computer to start up and load. She knew doubt was a bad thing and any such thoughts needed to be banished from her mind, she had made her decision and would deliver her best piece of journalistic work ever and that was that, so casting aside the ghosts of her dream she plunged whole heartedly into her bowl of cold milk and Cornflakes coated with sugar.
Breakfast completed, Rebecca quickly scanned her e-mail before rushing off to have a shower.
As she was towel drying her hair she looked out of her open bedroom window at the quiet scene outside, a cool breeze blew in carrying the fresh smell of rain soaked lawns. In the distance a dog barked and outside on the sidewalk a group of children played, their excited voices intermingling with the chirps and tweets of the neighbourhood songbirds and interrupted with the distant call of a Blue Jay. She sat down at her desk in her bathrobe and got straight on with the arduous task of editing, she gave herself three hours maximum to edit her piece then an hour of copy reading and final corrections before she must leave at about two pm, that would get her to work at about two thirty which would be an hour an one half before Mr Ashlock’s deadline. Rebecca was skilled at editing copy, she had since her earlier days at school been very accomplished in writing just what was needed, focusing in on the salient information within any essay she had ever written and was adept at reducing, cutting or completely removing, phrases, lines, sentences or whole paragraphs if they did not convey any relevant information or if they had diverged by any small amount from the focus of her writing. This she did with ease, without worry or regret, once edited out those words were gone.
With the copy now edited Rebecca printed her work out to copy read, she always found this task easier reading from paper as to reading fro her screen. While her printer did its work Rebecca ran downstairs to make herself a coffee and some sandwiches for later then quickly rang Mr. Ashlock to tell him that she was running early and should be in with her article by about two thirty p.m. Mr. Ashlock was extremely pleased with her news and told her that he looked forward to reading her final piece. He also reminded her to bring with her her information file so that facts could be checked on by the Gazette’s lawyers. Due to the sensitivity of the story two lawyers would review her work before it was given the green light to go to print. With her sandwiches made and a mug of hot steaming coffee in one hand Rebecca returned upstairs to her bedroom to complete her final copy read. She picked up the sheaf of printed paper from her printer then picked up her red inked pen, put her mug of coffee on the cabinet besides her bed and settled back on her bed, head propped up against her soft pillows to read. She took her time reading it, on the first pass she made three red marks with her pen, poor punctuation, with her second she picked out another two minor grammatical errors and with her final read all seemed well. She sat up and went over to her desk and quickly made the required changes which she saved as usual to her hard drive and for safety to her pen drive. Next she placed her red marked copy in the top drawer of her desk and locked it,
‘All done’.
She thought to herself as a huge grin spread from ear to ear, she glanced up at the clock it was nearly two pm.
‘Time to get dressed and go’, she thought, and with a bounce she was up from her seat and bounding across her bedroom to her wardrobe to select her look for the day.
In no time Rebecca had dressed, collected her lap top and pen drive from her desk, picked up her file and put it safely into her bag, thrown her bag over her arm, picked up her car keys, ran downstairs, shouted goodbye to her mother and was out of her house into the cool glare of that morning’s sun. It was refreshing to be out in the cool of the fall morning; the storm of the previous night had blown the hot, heavy, stagnant air away and replaced it with cool northern breezes.
With her radio blaring and her hair blowing in the breeze she drove through town to the offices of the Gazette.
With a smile Mr. Ashlock beckoned Rebecca into his office; he introduced her to the company’s two senior lawyers who had come in especially to work on Rebecca article with her.
“Rebecca this is Gerald Keel and Ashley Miller.”
Rebecca shook hands with the grey haired, sharp suited Gerald Keel then with the refined and softly spoken Ashley Miller.
With the introductions completed Rebecca took up the seat offered her, handed Mr. Ashlock her pen drive and information file and sat back expectantly as Mr. Ashlock’s printer started up with a
“Woopp woooop chicka, chicka, chicka, wish wooosh, wish wooosh, wish woosh.” and began producing her eagerly awaited article, page by page until after eight pages and nearly five thousand six hundred words with a “Chicka, click click, cherrk.” The printer finished printing.
Mr. Ashlock photocopied the article three times then handed everyone a copy,
“I think if we all have an initial read through, if I may Rebecca, I’ll make some initial comments and we can discuss those then I’ll leave the three of you to work thought the article until finished. I have set aside the meeting room for the afternoon and evening and I would like to reconvene at six p.m. so that will give you about three hours.”
The two sharp suited lawyers and Rebecca all nodded in agreement before they started to read Rebecca’s article.
The only noise that could be heard was the hum of the air conditioner in the side wall of Mr. Ashlock’s office, the relative cool of the morning already giving way again to the suffocating heat and humidity of the last few weeks. Mr. Ashlock read Rebecca’s article flat on his desk and every now and then his pen would flash across the pages making a mark here or a brief comment there. Gerald and Ashley did the same only their marks and comments were different from those made by Mr. Ashlock. Theirs were to underline or question the legality of certain phrases, assertions or statements made, and over the course of the coming three hours Rebecca would have to try and validate these pieces of information by referring back to her information file and her research. Rebecca was pleased that she was as happy after re-reading her article in Mr. Ashlock’s office as she was when she had finished copy reading it only and hour or so earlier. There were no grammatical errors and the article flowed along well, or at least she thought so. She did notice Gerald’s eyebrows raise more than once and Ashley’s face had turned from professionally pleasant and relaxed to entirely engrossed in the space of a couple of minutes of reading.
Mr. Ashlock was the first to finish; he turned the final page over, set his pen on top of the document and sat back in his old brown leather wingback chair with a broad and contented smile traced across his face. He sat silently until first Rebecca, then Gerald and finally Ashley had all finished reading. Rebecca looked expectantly at Mr. Ashlock and waited for him to pronounce his opinions upon her article.
“Well Rebecca I don’t really know where to start,….. It is beautifully written, focused and has a lovely rhythm to it as you read. We’ll obviously have to clarify and validate any points that Gerald and Ashley raise but apart form a few minor suggestions that I have …. , and Rebecca they are only suggestions, I think it is a brilliant piece of journalistic work…. I would like you to know that I see it as a piece of journalistic art.”
Rebecca cheeks flushed pink and momentarily she looked down at the floor before coyly looking back up.
“Thank you William.”
Was all she could say at that moment as she was temporarily silenced by an uncharacteristic bout of embarrassment.
“Now Gerald, Ashley what are your thoughts please?”
Mr. Ashlock asked of his two legal advisors, Gerald was first to reply.
“In a word explosive……., I would agree that it has been extremely well written but I think there are more than a couple of areas that we need to discuss but as long as your information stacks up and your source has provided truthful information that you have researched and somehow validated then I think that we should be ok by six.”
Rebecca’s face was blank as she listened to the lawyer’s views, Ashley spoke next.
“Well fuck me girl,…. explosive is not the word I would use, this will go off like a fifty mega tonne nuclear blast…, for those you have named the outcome will be catastrophic, ruinous to careers and disastrous for their personal lives and the full consequences will be completely uncontrollable once this goes to print…. So like Gerald I have identified quite a few legal points that we need address … I don’t know about you three but I certainly wouldn’t want to have the shit sued out of me………, especially by Kellar. If we get anything wrong he’ll destroy us and this paper.”
Rebecca was unsure how to take this comment, the words had leaped out of Ashley’s mouth as if spat out by an urban street girl, not some well dressed, sophisticated city lawyer.
Mr. Ashlock seemed completely unfazed by Ashley’s comments.
“Good, as I hoped, a mega story that we all need to be sure of by ten p.m. at the latest, hopefully by seven, but by the latest ten……. Are we all ok with that and know what we are all doing?”
He asked, before ushering the three of them out of his office and accompanying them to the large meeting room that had been reserved for their exclusive use.
“There’s coffee, sandwiches and some other nibbles over on the side and some fruit juices in the cooler underneath, so go on get to it and I’ll pop back later to see how we are progressing, just call if you need me.”
He said before closing the meeting room door behind him and walking off back along the corridor to his office. Once back in his office he sat back down in his comfy old leather chair, picked up Rebecca’s article and started to read it again. As he read he smiled to himself, he was so happy for Rebecca, a young enthusiastic journalist that was not even on the payroll of any publishing house and she had had this story of a lifetime fall in her lap.
‘If only’, he thought to himself but immediately castigated himself for having such selfish thoughts. Ashley had been right in her very forthright opinion, the article would detonate acrossLouisiana, and eventually the whole country as a scandal the likes of which had not been seen in many, many years engulfed so many. Its effects would be immediate, life changing and far reaching and as he knew only too well completely out of their control once published. He made a note to sit down with Rebecca an hour before it would be sent off to print and syndication to make sure for the last time that she had prepared herself for the coming storm of madness that would envelop them all.
Rebecca’s article was having the front page on the Gazette’s Saturday’s edition and again reprinted with updates in Sunday’s edition. Mr. Ashlock was keen that the Gazette broke the story and hand negotiated syndication for twenty four hours later in Sunday’s Wall Street Journal, New York Times, USA Today, LA Times, The Washington Post and the Times Picayune.
Chapter 41 A Downward Spiral
Samuel awoke to the sound of his alarm clock bleeping away, he reached his hand out from under the covers and turned it to snooze.
‘Just another ten minutes’, he thought to himself before plummeting back down into his world of gloom, guilt, anxiety and all enveloping darkness and despair. The clock bleeped again after ten minutes for a whole minute before falling silent, then ten minutes later did the same thing then another ten minutes later did the same again, each time without any response from Samuel. Pooh lifted his head each time and looked at the still shape of Samuel lying prone below his covers before snuggling back down into the soft foam of his bed. Moo leaped up and grabbed his favourite toy banana in his mouth and paraded around the gloom of the bedroom tail wagging vigorously, happy to be awake, happy to be alive until gaining no attention from the unresponsive shape of Samuel he flopped down in a heap on the floor with a grunt, carefully placing his toy down besides his front paws.
The bedroom door opened and SJ came in with a mug of coffee.
“Morning Samuel, coffee.”
She said in her cheeriest voice but got no response, she placed Samuel’s coffee down on his bedside cabinet and turned and left the room, with both her dogs following close behind she turned and closed the door behind her. As she descended the stairs she thought of Samuel’s moods. For the last few weeks he had been relatively normal, working normally for the most part even though he not been going to work for the last few days, instead preferring to get up early each day happy and energized then spend the day concentrating on his work for the committee meeting.
He had seemed a little edgy and slightly irritable but on the whole he had been ok. He had spent all of his waking hours when not a work including most of the weekends working on his objections to the alligator farm. Sitting at his old computer tirelessly typing, researching, editing, and formulating his objections in a written document to send into the committee and then he had used that as his basis for his presentation to the committee. He had edited it down to its minimum for his presentation and this was something that SJ knew he found tiresome and mentally exhausting.
She thought doing this writing for the zoning committee and compiling his presentation to them had ‘fired him up’, given him something to focus on, to use his brain to figure out a solution. Now it was over he seemed to her quite flat.
Once down stairs SJ opened the kitchen door to the garden and let the dogs out into the glare of the early morning sun, she then sat down at the kitchen table and poured maple syrup over the two large buttered muffins that were in her bowl. As she ate she sat watching Pooh and Moo through her garden window wander around outside, stopping here and there to sniff at something of interest or just standing still tails held out with their noses lifted sniffing the morning air.
The more she thought the more she was getting concerned about Samuel. She realised that he had come straight to her with his ‘good news’ yesterday but she had been busy and quite off hand with him and she had not even brought the subject up later or even bothered to ask Samuel what had actually gone on in the committee meeting. She hadn’t even congratulated him for his success and thanked him for all his hours tirelessly typing away, and come to think of it Samuel had not mentioned it again at all. Not at dinner the previous night or after as they cleared up the dishes, the more she thought about it the more she realised that from after she finished work until Samuel went up to bed early at eight thirty he had hardly said a word. He hadn’t been angry or agitated, he hadn’t shouted or screamed at all, he had been subdued; he had eaten quietly and only spoke when spoken to. His voice was more of a whispered mumble and his eyes were downcast.
“Shit, shit, here we go again.”
She cried out aloud to an empty kitchen as the realization that Samuel was on the verge of a major psychological crash sank in. This was not one of his normal relatively mild episodes, but a massive three yearly event that’s destructive waves were already crashing around in Samuel’s mind. Her heart sank and tears welled up in her eyes as she envisaged the darkness, gloom and despair that would soon overwhelm them all as a family in the coming weeks or months. A cold nose nuzzled her leg to her right and a heavy wet and slobbery mouth rested on her left thigh, she looked down to see Pooh on her left and Moo on her right sitting besides her with their ears cast back and sorrowful looks in their eyes. They knew as well as she did what was coming and did their best to comfort her. She patted Moo gently on his head and he nuzzled closer to her leg then she tickled Pooh behind his velvety soft right ear, he responded by licking his lips in a contented fashion then gently sighing. The three of them sat in silence while SJ finished her coffee, she wiped the tears away with the back of her right hand, gave both her comforters a final pat on their heads before standing up and heading back upstairs to her room to get showered, dressed, makeup on and ready for the busy day of work ahead of her.
Samuel lay almost physically paralysed beneath his bed covers, his mind lost to the outside world as it struggled and fought to overcome the draining dark despair that was creeping throughout his body, As he lay still waves of guilt broke across him, anxious thoughts fired off at random intervals to be accompanied by a cold sweaty fear as the weight of the dark dread pulled him further and further down into the comfort of nothingness.
His brain made valiant attempts to rouse him from the dark depths and fired off impulses to move, to get up, to go to work, but these attempts were easily overwhelmed by the onslaught of darkness. For Samuel these were the worst times, going into or coming out of this deep depressive state was torturous as his conscious mind clashed head on with the other side. During these times he would be overcome with profound feelings of guilt, fear, loneliness, anger, frustration, despair, anxiety, self loathing and helplessness which would all wash around together inside his brain as the fluid of pure madness. This state would prevail for a day or so, maybe a week, as he fought and fought but at some indeterminable point he would succumb and be lost to our conscious world until at some time in the future he would stir and start his long return back to the here and now.
It was not unusual for Samuel to surface at some point in the day and try to function as he was falling into or coming out of his personal darkness and at just before noon his conscious mind won its initial battle. Samuel’s eyes opened and he sat slowly up in bed, his bedroom was sweltering and as he moved he felt like he was moving through treacle, everything was slow and heavy. He got up and crossed the room, pulled his curtains back and let the sunlight flood in. He stood consciously thinking about what he needed to do to get out the house and off to work. First find his work clothes and get dressed, then get downstairs and eat, make some sandwiches and a large bottle of orange juice for the day, pop his head in and say hello to Jason if he was still home, pop his head in and say hello to SJ, make sure the dogs had water in their bowls, pick up his work book, cell phone, wallet and pickup keys and that would be that. He glanced across the room at his alarm clock, its face was blurred and Samuel cursed his failing eyesight. He walked over to his bedside cabinet where he knew his TV glasses were and put them on. The face of the clock instantly came into sharp focus, it was twelve five, if he got a move on he hoped he could be out of the house by twelve thirty and at his customers’ property by one at the latest.
It was twelve fifty five before Samuel climbed into the steaming cab of his pickup, the day was as heavy and still as his mind and as he knew only to well the heat and humidity would only build and build as the day progressed. The recent heavy storms that had cooled the land and brought in cooler air currents from theNorth Westhad been overcome by the exceptionally hot tropical currents that were blowing in from the south. This continuing heat and humidity was unusual for the fall and the summer seemed to be going on and on with oppressive tedium. Getting ready for work had run smoothly if rather slowly for Samuel, every movement was an effort, every task required concentration and all his conscious energy to accomplish. In the bubble that surrounded Samuel time ran slowly and what would normally take him about twenty minutes to accomplish took him almost fifty minutes.
‘At least I’m up and out of the house’, he thought as he reversed out of his driveway and headed off to work.
It was four pm before Samuel put down his shovel and trudged off towards his pickup for a drink and his sandwich. As he walked slowly along the top of the ditch mirages shimmered around him, the heat and humidity was at its maximum and he was drenched from head to foot in sweat, his mouth and throat were dry, his arms and legs ached and each step was an effort. At last he arrived at his pickup; he climbed aboard into the shade of the cab and reached over to his bottle of orange juice. He kept it in a small picnic cooler which was normally good for eight hours even on the hottest day like today. As it refreshing flavours coursed down his throat its sweet energy surged throughout his body. Greedily he guzzled until with thirst quenched he lowered the bottle from his lips, screwed the cap on and returned it to the cooler. He ate his ham and mayo sandwich in hot silence as he watched a spider on a bush only a couple of feet away capture and bind an unfortunate fly in its sticky silk. Once completed the spider picked up his cocooned meal and disappeared from the centre of its web into the cool shade of a large overhanging leaf.
With his sandwich finished Samuel got ready to return to his shovel and complete another two hours or so’s digging before heading for home. This thought however brought on a conflict within his mind, part of it was telling him that he had done enough for the day, he was hot, tired and it was time to go home, while another part was arguing that there were still another couple of hours work to do, he had eaten and quenched his thirst and he should get on and finish his work. As the former started to win over he leaned his head back against his headrest and closed his eyes, seconds turned into minutes and before he knew it half an hour of dozing had passed. Samuel woke with a jump, he cursed himself for falling asleep and immediately jumped out of his pickup and with determination and effort he trudged back to his shovel and continued to dig.
The work of the late afternoon was difficult, every movement was gruelling and required thought, every shovel full he moved was to be his last for the day and as time slowed and seconds became minutes as the tedium of his work grew and burdened his shoulders. His mind was being invaded by anger, frustration, exhaustion, fatigue, confusion and a growing want to call it a day and go home. This was how it was for Samuel for every second of every minute of those two hot hours of work before finally he had accomplished what he wanted to do for the day. This was nothing new to Samuel as the grinding boredom, tedium and physical exhaustion of his job often left him battling for hours to complete his work for the day.
A wave of relief overcame him as he climbed with the aid of his shovel out of the ditch and headed towards his pickup.
By the time Samuel pulled back onto his driveway his mind was like a pressure cooker, full of an assortment of negative thoughts that built up into a deep pulsing agitated rage and anger that did its best to escape the confines of his body as outbursts of verbally abusive mutterings or Tourettes like tics where his face would contort into ugly scowls and small jerks of his limbs that were all involuntary and surprised Samuel as much as anyone else.
Jason was sitting at the kitchen table with Jenny-Ray as Samuel stormed in accompanied by the ever present tail wagging Pooh and Moo.
“Hey dad had a good day?”
Jason asked as Samuel collapsed into a chair and with a groan then bent forward to undo his snake gaiters and untie his boot laces.
“Hiya.”
Jenny Ray beamed across the table as she tucked into a plate of cold meats, salad and mayo.
“Uurgh…., um hello Jason, Jenny…, surprised to see you both.”
Samuel replied without looking up. It had become a rarity these days to see much of Jason, he was always out and about doing something or other. Throughout the long hot summer neither Samuel or SJ had seen much of Jason, he was either out until late or sleeping in until midday if he could, so for him to be home in daylight hours and sitting down eating was unusual. Jason and Jenny continued chatting away and laughing as they sat eating their salads. With a grunt Samuel kicked off his second boot and left it where it fell by their back door. He stood up slowly with a sigh and trudged out of the kitchen towards his study.
“Good to see you both.”
He mumbled as he left the kitchen, he ached, felt physically exhausted and just wanted to sleep, but he had his routine to complete before he could escape to the sanctuary of his bed, so he sat down at his computer and once it had loaded updated his takings for the week to reflect what he had earned that day and noted down how much was owed to him. With the final arduous task of the day completed Samuel shut down his computer and accompanied by Pooh and Moo slowly and methodically climbed the stairs. Once inside his bedroom Samuel slowly sat down on the edge of his bed and took off his socks, dirty jeans and T-shirt, casting each item aside onto the floor, he then stumbled across the room, pulled the curtains shut before stumbling back to his bed where he sank down slowly and shut his eyes. Pooh jumped up onto the bed besides Samuel, settling down right next to him laying his head on his master’s chest. Moo lay directly besides the bed, next to his master as if guarding him.
Samuel’s mind was in turmoil, he could feel the presence of the darkness as it fought to override his conscious thoughts and knew that it was building in strength by the minute ready to unleash its full fury in the coming hours or days.
Mercifully for Samuel he fell very quickly into a deep sleep and was for the time oblivious to the menace of his own mental implosion and storms outside building far to the west of Evangeline.
SJ finished her work as normal, cleaned her studio and went through to the kitchen to prepare their evening meal.
“Hey mom, Hiya SJ.”
Came the combined welcome from Jason and Jenny Ray, they were both still sitting at the kitchen table, TV on in the corner as they sat one in front of a laptop the other fiddling with their cell phone.
“Hey Jason, Jenny, what are you two up too then?… I haven’t really seen much of you all summer.”
She said as she poured herself a long cool soda and sat at the table with them
“You know, stuff.”
Replied Jenny as she tapped away furiously on her keyboard. Jason laughed at some unknown thing and pointed out something on his cell phone to Jenny who in turn roared with laughter. Jason then sat thumbs twitching as some kind of message or response was tapped out and sent off into cyberspace.
“Facebook, Twitter and Face time.”
Came Jason’s delayed response as he tapped something else into his cell phone, showed Jenny what he had written, who again roared with laughter and declared.
“Go on Jason send it….., that’s just sooo funny.”
“Ok here goes.”
Replied Jason, who with an exaggerated movement of his finger pressed the send button and off went another message.
“Something funny?”
Enquired SJ as the pair of teenagers sat giggling at something else that had come up on Jenny’s screen.
“Nah mom we’re just messin, …. You know.”
“Where’s your father?”
SJ asked Jason as she sat sipping her cool soda.
“He came in through the door like a tornado, sat down, kicked off his boots, grunted something at us and then left the kitchen and went up stairs, … I think he’s in a fowl mood mom, … at least he didn’t shout,… he’s always angry.”
Jenny buried her head in her laptop while Jason and SJ discussed Samuel’s mood.
“I’ll go up and see if he wants dinner. “
SJ said with a sigh.
“I’d leave him mom.”
Jason said coldly.
“Now don’t be like that Jason you know your dad gets ill now and then.”
“Now and then, now and then.”
Jason laughed sarcastically.
“He is always ill.”
He continued.
“He’s always seems angry and he’s either shouting or asleep; he never seems to laugh anymore and seems scared of having a shower……., if you speak to him he either grunts of goes off on one.”
“I know, I know Jason ….he hasn’t had a good year really has he, but you need to remember that you are not always polite to him and you do tend to bug him, and it sounds to me that you do it on purpose half the time.”
Jason didn’t reply just laughed and winked at Jenny who was still hiding behind her screen.
SJ left the two net surfers to their fun and went off upstairs to see Samuel. She opened his door and peered into the gloom of his bedroom, Moo’s tail pounded the floor as he lay still next to the bed, Pooh opened his eyes and let his tail swish back and forth on the bed covers, but Samuel did not move. SJ flicked the light on and still no response.
I hope you enjoy your reading. It is available on Kindle and a free copy can be borrowed for download at https://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Blue-Heron-Howard-Moore-ebook/dp/B00KK6BWLK..
Howard Moore
