Interviewer: So, what skills do you think you could bring to the role?
Applicant: Listen, I’ve seen the other person waiting outside, and he looks a right state. I mean, *sniggers*, seriously?
Interviewer: Don’t worry about him, It’s you I’m interested in talking about.
Applicant: I heard he used to hang around with some really dodgy people, I wouldn’t employ him, he’s filth.
Interviewer: Let’s just focus on you shall we? What would you say your strengths are?
Applicant: My strengths..eh..well I’m strong.
Interviewer: Being strong is your strength?
Applicant: Yes, and stable.
Interviewer: I see. Looking at your application I notice that there is quite a bit of crossing out. You seem to change your mind about things a lot?
Applicant: That bloke outside looks rubbish.
Interviewer: Please, it would really help if you concentrated on your own application. Now, there are a lot of facets to this job, requiring a lot of different skills. Are you quite sure you would be up to the tasks involved, and able to lead your team with confidence?
Applicant: I heard a lot of the people in the last place he worked, didn’t like him.
Interviewer: OK, I think I have asked all I want to. Is there anything you’d like to ask me?
Applicant: Yes, who would you rather wake up and find out you’d employed, me or that bloke outside?
Interviewer: Ok, thank you for coming. We’ll be in touch
Applicant: He killed a puppy
Interviewer: OK, thank you. Bye.”
Sajid Hussain
