Happy New Year
Aaand so a fresh, sparkling New Year for us to enjoy. Let’s see what early delights Week 1 has unveiled to our eager gaze….
Well, there’s season 3 of Pandemic UK: The Clusterfuck to enjoy. Initially, a one-off comprising a maximum of fifty-two episodes, this tired and incoherent drama has limped into 2022. Few would have guessed that such a ratings disaster could survive for three years and yet he we are. The production has been mired in controversy from the start, most recently with key stars exposed partying while the show’s plummeting appeal continues. The corruption, deceit and incompetence of its main protagonists grew old very quickly and many viewers reacted with fury towards the continuing survival of the show’s lead characters. Especially considering the shocking body-count elsewhere. To date, nearly 180,000 deaths. But as these were all minor characters, show bosses continue to insist that things are going as well as anyone could expect.
Prince Andrew, however, has provided some distraction from the aforementioned. He’s serving up a heady brew, that’s for sure. On the one hand he’s arguing that he was sufficiently intimate with convicted nonce, Jeffrey Epstein, that an agreement between Epstein & Virginia Giuffre not to sue Epstein or his mates for rape & assorted noncery, also covers him. On the other hand, he claims he didn’t know Epstein well enough at all to know what the confirmed sexual predator was doing with sundry trafficked children at numerous ‘parties’ the Prince himself attended. There’s also the not insignificant point that relying on an agreement devised by a convicted paedophile doesn’t quite project a convincing innocence. Total nonsense to the rest of us, but clearly nonce sense to Andrew. A man happily & permanently unburdened by such irritants as self-awareness & dignity. Older readers will recall 80s bootlicker tabloids admiringly referring to the man as ‘Randy Andy.’ Rather more The Nonce Formerly Known as Prince, these days, I suggest. As the pressure increases, we can only imagine how badly the man incapable of sweating is, in fact, sweating. Schrodinger’s Nonce, if you will.
In other news, the champion of the proletariat, Sir. Keir Starmer, offered us his ‘Contract with the British People’ summarised by the pithy three-word slogan ‘Security, Prosperity, Respect.’ Which is in no way focus group-driven, centrist drivel that could just as easily be adopted by any other party and leaves Labour indistinguishable from them. Labour is, we were told, “a deeply patriotic party.” Call me cynical, but I wonder how well this will serve in attracting Tory voters while an actual Tory party exists?
Elsewhere, Keith, as he’s known to many, continues to prove that offering no opposition to the worst government in living memory is no barrier to success. That is if one judges success by the number of Jews expelled from the Labour Party. Yes indeed, Sir. Keir Starmer has presided over more Jews hounded from the party than any other leader in Labour’s history. Of course, this has been done in the name of combatting antisemitism so it’s perfectly fine. After all, who among us could envisage a more effective way of proving Labour isn’t antisemitic than by driving record numbers of Jews from the party?
On a related note, one of the big shocks of the week was the unmasking of actor, Emma Watson, as an antisemite. The Harry Potter thespian posted on social media an image of a pro-Palestine protest with the message ‘Solidarity is a verb.’ Shock. Gasp. Horror. How dare this vicious Jew-hater express solidarity with people brutalised and oppressed by an apartheid state? Israeli officials were as rapid as they were predicable in their condemnation of the young star. It was left to Britain’s valiant tribune of the oppressed to push back on Watson’s behalf, firmly damning her critics as “appalling” before going on to state “These constant attempts to stifle any and all support for Palestinians must be called out.” No, don’t be silly. Of course that wasn’t Starmer. It was, er, [checks notes] Tory Peer Sayeeda Warsi.
Finally, Tony Blair receiving a gong from the queen ignited a veritable forest fire of outrage. A petition demanding a reversal of the honour quickly attracted squillions of signatures. Sir. Keith, unsurprisingly, leaped to the defence of his spirit animal, opining that the former PM Tony Blair, (an anagram of I’m Tory Plan B, if you’re interested) had “… changed the lives of millions…” Well, he certainly ruined and ended millions, which I guess counts as changed.
Welcome to 2022, where the fun just never starts.
Harry Paterson
If you like our content please keep us going for as little as £2 a month https://dorseteye.com/donate/
