Although London has appeared to escape the brain contagion that affected many around the country yesterday others have been cowering from the zombie like presence that has afflicted thousands. From apparent no where the cerebral cortex became a mushy mess as Tories and some others started bleeding a purple gunk from all orifices. The UN has been summoned by human rights groups and other concerned homo sapiens who are very anxious that this gunk may be toxic as well as infectious. A spokesperson said “we have had reports of a blue slime for years but we trusted in the human immune system to eventually fight it off but this purple stuff is too extreme to ignore. Our teams will inoculate and from then we can only hope”.
The leader of the ‘purple freaks’ as the media across the planet is labelling them Figel Narage said whilst fondling a high tar cigarette and a barrel of home brew “we see today as a turning point in British politics. No more establishment dictatorships in which poor people are demonised. Demonisation costs money. We are setting up camps along the North Sea coast and we will start transportations as soon as the infection is total. We will privatise the air, the sand and all haemoglobin. Schools will have fag machines and anyone failing a test will be disappeared…”. When asked if this could be achieved over the next 12 months he replied “we are working on it with backbench Tories and you will have to wait and see…. Exciting times.”
It appears the UN will have their work cut out to prevent this presence and it may take something more drastic than inoculations. An H.G. Wells fan club are reported to be holding seances hoping that mother earth will provide the remedy. They are pinning their ‘faith’ on the creatures failure to cope with being surrounded by empathy and compassion.
“We can only hope that the alliance of blue and purple comes to nothing more than a nasty freak that rights itself and that humanity can rid itself of the genocidal mush before it is too late” a member exclaimed.
