Being Prime Minister isn’t what you had fantasised about at school, is it Boris? You cannot stand, like a commanding general in front of the braying Yahoos on the Government benches, using your superior, Etonian wit and guile to shoot down the foolish comments of the uneducated plebs on the Opposition benches. All that is finished. The virus has put paid to the crampt, claustrophobic geometry of the House of Commons. And the new Leader of the Opposition is clearly smarter, and better educated than you.

But as a classicist, Boris, you should know that the gods never give man everything he arrogantly demands of them – they must be entertained by man. You may be at the top of Disraeli’s greasy pole, but it is not such a pleasant place… if there is no empire to govern, no colonial wars to fight and win, and no gun-boats to send to overawe the restless natives. And the EU does hold all the cards, and your faux-patriotic speeches will return to haunt you, as the virus and Brexit destroy the nation.

Enjoy your grief spell of power, Boris. Tomorrow you will be gone and forgotten. Another in the long-line of failed politicians.

‘Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.’

Bowditch Williams

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