Anyone who has taken their little one to Peppa Pig World will have the delight of walking into the shop at the end and hearing their love of their life have a Peppa Pig meltdown:

“Peppa Pig House”

“Peppa Pig Car”

“Peppa Pig Helicopter”

…And through everything they sell, all with Peppa Pig before it. But what if Peppa Pig’s urine could power the world? No I’m not taking the proverbial – green hydrogen from factory farmed pigs could fuel everything from (Peppa Pig) ships to (Peppa Pig) trucks to (Peppa Pig) central heating, and yes, even a Peppa Pig Helicopter.

WTF?

Like I said, I’m not taking the ****. Look up Amogy, who have published this video—potentially a Peppa Pig piss powered tractor!!!

Hydrogen Fuel Cells

For those who dream of a hydrogen future because, for some reason, the Daily Mail and Rupert Murdoch don’t like batteries much, then Peppa Pig **** is just the thing. You see, Amogy reckons that the available hydrogen in ammonia is 12.7 megajoules per litre compared to only 8.5Mj/l from liquid hydrogen. Ammonia can be stored without having to keep it at near-absolute zero, like hydrogen.

The PigProGram

The chief problem is that most ammonia is produced from fossil fuels. It is carbon intensive. That’s why we turn to our porcine cousins. Pig urine, stored and cleaned, can then power the tractor or HGV, taking them to the abattoir to have their throats cut and turn them into bacon. Scaled up, you could have a Peppa Pig Powered Abattoir as well as the farm, so other than their farts, the pig industry could be entirely green.

The PigProGram is trialling extracting ammonia from (Peppa) Pig piss. According to a news release from the Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board (AHDB), “The PigProGrAm, backed by £600K of government money, has brought farming and engineering expertise together to demonstrate a farm-focused solution for the harvesting of green ammonia from pig waste that could also lead to the creation of hydrogen, a valuable tool in the fight against climate change. The research project team consists of a consortium of industry leaders; the Agriculture and Horticulture Development Board (AHDB), Beta Technology, the University of Leeds, Duynie Feed, a commercial pig unit in North Yorkshire, and its newest partner, Membracon, who specialise in water treatment, clean water recycling, and effluent solutions.”

What? Pig Farts Too?

Conceivably, Peppa Pig’s pooh and farts could power all sorts too. You see, methane is an incredibly useful fuel. Already, the methane from our food waste in Dorset is used to power a pig feed factory in Piddlehinton (couldn’t make the name up, could you?!). That means with some clever pig factory fart capture system and certainly rotting down their droppings, you could make pig meat entirely carbon neutral. The farts and piss could power half of Dorset. The only problem is veggies couldn’t get on with it, as pigs’ brains are bigger than dogs and no one really likes living in packed, unsanitary conditions for six months only to be dragged out and have their throats cut.

Why Not Our Urine?

Instead of having a circular economy around killing and eating pigs, why not use our own effluent as fuel? Never mind Peppa Pig – Dorset Che piss-fuelled car, a Dorset Che pooh powered plane, or a Dorset Che fart powered truck?

The technology is broadly there already. Dorset’s waste food is used to harvest methane to power combustion-engineered generators. Why not use Dorset’s pooh to power buses? Scrub out the nappies, condoms, and tampons, let it brew, and off we go!

I might be being crude, but I’ll end on a sweet note: if our human and agricultural effluent were used for fuel in all its forms, would we need to swim through it at Weymouth Beach or in the River Frome?

Maybe I’m doing myself out of being the next effluent billionaire by writing this, but it might make someone else rich!!!

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