“Dorset Cream Tease is where you’ll find the relaxing, maddening, hilarious and bewildering stories, gossip and rants that help all of us to cope with life in Dorset. Everything you read here will be 90% true (almost). So get yourself hooked by visiting every week, and feel free to comment or add your thoughts by emailing me at [email protected]”
The Tea Maker
Bad shopping day
I went shopping today and no matter what criteria you would like to use, I didn’t have a good time. My nightmare purchases were a pair of scissors and a small notebook. Ok, there were a few other bits and pieces but the scissors and notebook were the items that ruined my day.
My last pair of scissors were confiscated at airport security. They were less than three inches long, including the handles, so I’m at a loss to understand why they were deemed a security risk. When I put this question to the airport’s Anti-terrorist Security Guard he too was at a loss. He simply raised his eyes to the ceiling as if to say, “I know, it’s stupid, but it’s one of the rules we have to follow.” Then he beat me up and took my scissors.
Anyway, I went for replacements today and found that all scissors now come in plastic bubble packs. I can only think that this makes them easier to display and more expensive. I made my selection and took them home, only to discover that the packaging was a nightmare. Have you ever tried to open a plastic bubble pack without a pair of scissors or when the only pair you have is inside the bubble pack? I hate people who design packaging but I eventually found the answer to my problem when I tripped over my chainsaw in the garage.
My other purchase was the notebook. You’d think it would be easy to buy a small notebook but, no, it isn’t. I was told to get one with lines and, under no circumstances was I to get one with blank pages. It had to be lines. My problem was that all small notebooks are wrapped in cellophane so you can’t open them to peek inside and check that the lines are there. And they don’t always tell you whether it’s lined or blank on the cellophane, do they? No! Why can’t they make things easy? They could easily put a big sticker on the cellophane that says either BLANK or LINES, but they don’t.
I did, however, discover a little trick. If you look through the cellophane at the edge of the notebooks, you can see tiny little lines on the outside edge of the pages. This immediately told me that I was holding a notebook with lines but, just to make sure, I picked up a few others and, sure enough, some didn’t have those little tell-tale marks on their edges. I had discovered what all notebook shoppers dream of, made my purchase and off I went.
At home, the notebook recipient opened their little notebook and do you know what I’d bought? One with tiny squares.
The Tea Maker
PS: You can comment on this story by emailing me at [email protected] and I’ll respond to your emails in next week’s column.
