Claims that voters taken in by George Osborne’s budget were not breastfed have been played down by No 10. Although their own research suggested 93% of Tory voters were fed with rattlesnake milk using specially designed straws and 100% of UKIP voters by troglodytes using mammoth tusks this has yet to be formally confirmed. With Labour attempting to ape these practices in many constituencies, especially in Scotland, there is a fear that admitting it at this time may cause further consternation across the country.
Mothers are being warned to be very suspicious of people with rosettes making suggestions about child care.
Please contact us if you suspect that the knock on the door could be them.
Douglas James
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