The press release Boris Johnson sent out yesterday was only for the walking dead.
Herewith the actual one.
“I dashed back from yet another holiday to try to grasp power once again – despite having been, essentially, thrown out of office in utter disgrace a mere three months ago.
It quickly became clear that I wasn’t going to get to the required 102 MP’s, so I met with Rishi Sunak to try to persuade him to let me be PM again and I’d make him Chancellor again, but he wouldn’t play ball.
I then got my MP supporters to say that I’d reached the 102 backers so that some undecided MP’s might fall into my column looking for a Cabinet job.
I still couldn’t get to 102 so I then tried to persuade Penny Mordaunt to step down so that I could steal some of her supporters. She wouldn’t budge though.
Knowing I was going to be faced with the embarrassment tomorrow of being proven to NOT actually have the support required, I released a completely deceitful statement for the plebs to read in the Mail/Sun/Express/Torygraph, filled with hubris and self-aggrandisement pretending I’m standing aside for the good of the country.
Back on hol’s again now……”
Tom Lane
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