Prime Minister,
Well, well, well! Who’d have thought that your government would come first in anything to do with human rights? Well, it seems that you have, because Britain’s currently serving government is to have the highly embarrassing, and eventually the equally highly public, distinction of leading the very first nation to be investigated at high level in the United Nations for the “grave or systemic violations” of the rights of disabled people. People like me, who am contemplating the idea of ending my life because of the policies that are still, in spite of warnings in the House in 2011, being pursued and enforced by the DWP. You can see my post on my Facebook timeline (https://www.facebook.com/Grumblywuth/posts/1428283530646408), in which I detail my intended method, and lay the blame for my current thinking squarely at the feet of your Work and Pensions Secretary.
No, the name of the nation to be investigated is not a spelling mistake. The people at the UN have had many years of practice at spelling words like “China” and “Zimbabwe.” It’s definitely “Britain.”
Do have a read of the report linked here: https://www.thefedonline.org.uk/disability-in-the-news/uk-is-first-country-to-face-un-inquiry-into-disability-rights-violations
and make a point of watching Gabor Gombos (that’s “Gombosh” when you say it aloud because he’s Hungarian and they have a funny way with letters) from 1:03:59 onwards in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nR_sLy_8B-8 . Notice they say that the Committee has a very high threshold before an investigation would begin, which means that you have to have basically already taken enough rope to hang yourself with. That way the UN doesn’t end up being seen to be wasting its time on trivial whinging.
As always, I’ve made a point of downloading and storing the video safely, just in case it should happen to “go missing” from Youtube, as so much of this type of public information material does. Strange how that always seems to coincide with your security services getting wind of it, isn’t it? I expect that your Lynton Crosby might be able to offer a tip or two on what might be happening to the missing information, as he seems to be in the know about such things, especially when they relate to his connections with the tobacco industry.
I can’t help thinking of all those former Ministers, who have all had a hand in oppressing and causing the untimely deaths of disabled people since you usurped office in 2010. They’re all going to have to answer some rather searching questions now, and the UN is probably not the kind of organisation that can be scared off just because someone’s a female Minister with two big houses. That’ll make quite a dent in your Cabinet when they’re hauled in for questioning, won’t it? Duncan Smith himself, then Grayling, Miller, McVey, Penning and now Harper as well. And of course the Austerity Architect himself, Osborne – the man who steals from the poorest and then protects the very people who caused the financial catastrophe in the first place, using public money to fight their corner in Europe. Tut, tut! That won’t go down at all well. And you, of course, as the man with the overall responsibility for the behaviour of the Ministers you appointed to carry out this pogrom against the weakest members of UK society, using bare-faced lies and twisted statistics in order to brainwash the poor sheeple who don’t have the sense to ignore what the BBC and Daily Fail tell them.
At least Psychosmiffy will be able to remain looking calm and collected while all this is going on, as he’ll be able to clear away the sweat from his distinctly less-than-noble brow with some of his £100 wet wipes, won’t he? You should tell the expenses people to expect another claim from him for underwear though. Skid marks never come out properly in the wash at today’s low temperatures, and I’ll bet he already has a few pairs that will have to be consigned to the incinerator, when no-one’s looking. After all, this decision to investigate your government’s abuses of disabled people was taken back in June this year.
“So far, the Conservative minister for disabled people, Mark Harper, has failed to comment on the CRPD inquiry.” It’s going to be kind of difficult to spin this one into something even vaguely resembling “positive,” although from my point of view it already is. So far, as far as I know, he’s done nothing to add to the weight of misery that his predecessors have caused. Maybe, if he has the sense he was born with, he’ll resign while he can still honestly claim innocence of any wrongdoing.
I wonder if the legal people at The Hague have a standing instruction to start testing the ropes for flaws when one of these investigations gets underway, because they’re so likely to be needed at the end of the investigation and resulting trials? Those ropes will be as long as you and your bully-boy cronies have woven them, Prime Minister, and we’ll probably see the highest scaffolds since Haman once the paperwork’s all done and dusted. Just remember: It’s not the fall that will kill you; it’s the sudden stop at the end. Here’s an idea: Have a quiet word with Hamas. You might be able to opt for beheading instead. quick, clean, and you get a nice wicker hamper to go home in. Psychosmiffy will probably like the idea of the hamper – he has form with them as I recall.
I know a man with a 9mm pistol if you, Osborne and Psychosmiffy would rather do the honourable thing before your starring roles on the gallows for crimes against humanity become unavoidable. Only a Browning, and it doesn’t have the same traditional value as a Smith and Wesson .38 Police Special, but that’s how things run in a country whose population has been officially disarmed. It’s ex-military though, so Psychosmiffy should at least know which end does the business even if it isn’t quite the same shape as a General’s handbag. Tell Psychosmiffy to go for a body shot though; it’ll be completely pointless him trying to blow his brains out because the target will be far too small for him to hit, even from two inches away. We wouldn’t want him to suffer from draughts afterwards, would we?
Who knows what The Hague will do with all the minions who have supported your murderous regime? I expect that the claim of “I was only obeying my orders” will have about as much effect as it did at Nuremberg all those years ago. All those JC+ workers who’ve directly sanctioned vulnerable, disabled and genuinely needy people! All those decision makers who have, in making their decisions, impersonated qualified doctors! All those Atos staff who have, in lying on the reports that they’ve raised, breached the Counterfeiting Act and thereby caused untold misery and even death, some by suicide! All those police who’ve failed in their duty of upholding the human rights of the public who pay their wages, in direct contravention of their Oaths Of Service! Oh my word! The trials and their consequences could run on for YEARS! Perhaps they could allocate them a nightly spot on BBC3. It would make for much more enjoyable viewing than EastEnders.
Sincerely,
Darren Lynch
