Check your crisps

Walkers Crisps come in a variety of flavours. The reason for this is that not everyone likes their Ready Salted ones. Personally, I loathe them and prefer the taste of Salt & Vinegar and Cheese & Onion, or any one of a range of other flavours. In other words, when it comes to crisps, I’m pretty fucking normal.


But here’s the thing, we don’t always buy one bag of crisps. We often buy multi-packs that contain six or more bags of a single flavour, which could be anything from Smokey Bacon to Roast Chicken. Alternatively, we might buy a mixed multi-pack that contains six bags of various flavours such as 2 x Ready Salted, 2 x Cheese & Onion and 2 x Salt & Vinegar, which is exactly what I did last week at my local Tesco store – or so I thought.

When I took my mixed multi-pack home and opened it, out dropped six bags of Ready Salted. No Cheese & Onion and no Salt & Vinegar, just six bags of Ready Salted. Who the fuck wants six packs of Walkers Ready Salted? Certainly not me.

I called the Walkers Helpline right away but, being a weekend, they were closed. I thought about calling Tesco but realised that their profits are down so much that the poor bastards could go bust if they have to compensate me for selling me the wrong crisps.

All I can think of now is to warn all you crisp-loving readers that you should burst open any mixed multi-packs of Walkers crisps and make sure you’re buying what you think you’re buying. And if anyone gets 6 packs of Cheese & Onion, I’m willing to swap a couple of them for a couple of my Ready Fucking Salted.


The Tea Maker

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The Tea Maker