An explanation from the owner:
“The new name reflects our commitment to whimsy and the rich tradition of British satire.”. Struggling to keep a straight face during the announcement, the landlord continued, “It’s got nothing to do with Nigel. Absolutely nothing. He’s a loyal customer and a national treasure. Definitely not a green-tinged national embarrassment.”
Few are upset by the transformation. “It’s brilliant,” said Mary Jenkins, a regular since she was 15 (sorry, 18). “We were all getting a bit sick of the place being treated like Nigel’s personal photo studio. I’ve seen him pose with more pints than he’s actually drunk.”
Another patron, Tom Willis, was quick to point out the irony of any Farage outrage. “He’s always banging on about how we should get back to good old British banter and stop being so easily offended. Well, this is proper British banter, isn’t it? Where’s his stiff upper lip now?”
Sources close to the politician say he’s already scouting out a new pub, although insiders claim the short list is dwindling as landlords queue up to rename their establishments “The Ribbiting Hypocrite” and “The Kermit Comeuppance.”
As for “The Frog-Faced Liar,” business is booming. Regulars report the atmosphere has never been livelier, with laughter spilling out onto the cobbled streets and the jukebox permanently stuck on “Ode to Joy,” “Danny Nedelko,” and “I’m So Bored With The USA.”.
Asked whether he’d consider lifting the ban on Farage for the sake of reconciliation, the landlord chuckled. “He’s welcome to come back anytime,” he said. “As long as he’s okay drinking from a novelty ‘I’m a Frog-Faced Liar’ pint glass.”
The landlord has already started changing the framed posters in the pub, which he is sure the locals will appreciate.
The pub landlord has yet to fill just one of its walls and is thus asking the public to send their contributions.
Send them to Dorset Eye, and I will forward them on.
