‘Dear Bournemouth Borough Council.
I have had a referendum in my house and we have decided to leave the Borough. I demand free access to your swimming pools, libraries, parks and other facilities. I demand free, borderless access to your roads and I expect to be able to continue to go about my business without any form of hinderance.
I absolutely refuse to pay any council tax as this will be little more than a spiteful, punitive measure on your part.
Thank you; I await your agreement.’