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The Tea Maker
I’ve just spent Easter in Glasgow where I was visiting some friends and I can tell you two things in this short report. First of all, the weather was shit. We think we get bad weather here in Dorset but it’s nothing compared to Scotland. If the Scots think for a second that the Tories have anything to do with their weather conditions, they will definitely vote YES for independence in September.
The second thing I noticed during my trip is that the people of Glasgow smile a lot. I’m not talking about the way you and I smile when we’re in company or at a party or when someone is telling us a joke. Glaswegians smile when they are walking along the street, on their own. It’s as if they know something we don’t and they’re smiling about it.
I sat at a street café and watched the world go by and I was amazed at how many people were smiling. It wasn’t just the occasional idiots with earphones or a mobile phone at their ears. These were normal looking people and there were dozens of them. Business people, mothers with kids in prams, taxi drivers, shoppers. Even the fucking cops smile in Glasgow.
The question is, “What the hell are they doing it for? What do they know that we don’t?”
At first I found it weird, then intriguing. But as I noticed more smiles on more faces, I found it really fucking annoying. I wanted to know what it was all about so I decided to ask.
“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice that you were smiling to yourself. Would you mind telling me why?”
I didn’t actually do this. Can you imagine approaching a Glaswegian who is smiling to himself and asking him, in a South of England accent, what the fuck he’s smiling about as he’s walking along the street on his own? No, I couldn’t quite imagine it either so I just ordered another latte and sat there minding my own business.
The Tea Maker
PS: You can comment on this story by emailing me at [email protected] and I’ll respond to your emails in next week’s column. We’ll never publish your email address.
