Dear John

I hope this letter finds you in the peculiar embrace of your misconceptions and the warm glow of your narrow-mindedness. It has come to my attention that you have been passionately blaming immigrants for all the woes of seaside towns, and I couldn’t help but think that your unique perspective deserves a celebration.

In honour of your outstanding commitment to ignorance, I would like to extend a cordial invitation to the “Carnival of Ignorance,” a grand event where like-minded individuals gather to revel in their uninformed beliefs and indulge in a feast of baseless stereotypes.

Our carnival boasts a variety of attractions designed to tickle the fancy of those who prefer prejudice over enlightenment. From the Tunnel of Misunderstanding, where facts are distorted beyond recognition, to the House of Hypocrisy, where double standards reign supreme – we have curated an experience that is sure to resonate with your peculiar worldview.

As the guest of honour, you’ll have the opportunity to lead the parade of unfounded accusations and wave the flag of misinformation high. We’ll even provide a special podium for your passionate speeches, allowing you to share your creative interpretations of reality with an enthusiastic audience.

In the spirit of satire, we encourage you to bring your most outlandish conspiracy theories and fantastical tales about immigrants. We promise not to fact-check; after all, who needs the inconvenience of the truth when there’s a good story to tell?

Please RSVP at your earliest convenience, and don’t forget to pack your favourite soapbox. We anticipate a night filled with laughter, as we collectively revel in the carnival of ignorance that you so ardently champion.

I look forward to your presence at the grand spectacle of misguided beliefs!

Yours mockingly,

Someone whose brain did not bleed out in the birth canal.

The real reasons why UK seaside towns are struggling

Dear John

You may want to have a butcher at this:

  1. Decline in Traditional Industries: Many seaside towns historically relied on traditional industries such as fishing, shipping, and manufacturing. The decline of these industries due to factors like globalisation and technological advancements has left these towns with economic voids.
  2. Seasonal Tourism: While tourism can be a significant economic driver, it often tends to be seasonal in seaside towns. During the off-season, businesses may struggle to generate sufficient income, leading to economic instability.
  3. Lack of Diversification: Some seaside towns have been slow to diversify their economies. Relying heavily on a single industry or sector makes these towns vulnerable to economic downturns in that specific area.
  4. Infrastructure and Connectivity Issues: Inadequate infrastructure, including poor transportation links and outdated facilities, can deter investment and make it challenging for businesses to thrive. Improved connectivity is crucial for attracting both tourists and new businesses.
  5. Demographic Changes: Aging populations and a lack of younger residents can impact the local economy. The departure of younger generations seeking better opportunities elsewhere can lead to a decline in economic vitality.
  6. Housing Market Challenges: The housing market in some seaside towns may face challenges, with a surplus of seasonal or second homes. This can contribute to inflated property prices, making it difficult for local residents, including those working in lower-wage industries, to afford housing.
  7. Limited Educational Opportunities: A lack of educational institutions or limited access to higher education can limit the skill set of the local workforce. This, in turn, can hinder economic development and make it harder for towns to attract businesses in emerging industries.
  8. Social Deprivation and Health Issues: Some seaside towns experience higher levels of social deprivation and associated health issues. This can lead to increased demand for public services, straining local resources, and hindering economic growth.
  9. Environmental Concerns: Coastal erosion, flooding, and other environmental challenges can pose threats to seaside towns. Addressing these issues often requires significant investment, and the uncertainty they bring can discourage business and residential development.
  10. Dependence on Government Funding: Some seaside towns may become overly dependent on government subsidies or grants. Relying on external funding without fostering sustainable economic activities can lead to vulnerability when government support decreases.
  11. Leaving the EU: Major funding and grants stopped abruptly.

I hope this helps you, John, and all of the other ignoranuses that pollute the air we breathe.

I look forward to your forthcoming suggestion that we use old caravans and gas cylinders to erase the problem you have identified. It will not be a new idea, but you are helping to ferment it nonetheless.

Oh and by the way:

Someone on X summarised you perfectly:

‘John Lydon provides this year’s least punk interview. Son of Irish migrants and Irish passport holder, Lydon migrated to the USA decades ago and has taken out US citizenship. And without a shred of self-awareness, he asserts that immigration is destroying Britain.’

Back when John Lydon was lucid:

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