Local Tories in Dorset have gathered at an historical relic to denounce the sacking of Damian Green. A spokesperson for the group denied that their failure to be currently aroused had anything to do with the poor quality internet reception and called for Mr Green’s computers to be returned to their local campaign office for them to be utilised for ‘party purposes’.
When questioned about the allegations and the reasons for Mr Green’s dismissal the overall response was that the Tories have done and are doing much worse things than watching porn and lying and that Mr Green’s preponderance for masturbating within the Palace of Westminster was widgy given that the place was full of wan**rs.
If the protest does not succeed they are threatening to take their campaign further. At this point the group broke away as someone shouted that they had got a signal.
More updates to follow.