How a missing 12-year-old exposed the widespread misogyny of Facebook comment sections.
When news broke on the morning of July 5th that a 12-year-old girl had gone missing from the Westbourne area, police and news outlets were quick to use social media to spread the news that a child was not accounted for.
Pixie, 12, was last seen at around 00:30 the night before and had not returned home. Recent photos were plastered over social media. Many were quick to offer their condolences and best wishes for her safe return in the comments sections on Facebook.
Among the well-wishers were comments that hinted at a wider issue facing young girls today.
Many men were pointing out that, from the pictures provided, Pixie looked considerably older than 12, closer to 16+ (legal age of consent). Others, including women, made issue with the clothes she was wearing in the photos provided, that they may be more revealing than they would consider appropriate for a 12-year-old.
The comment sections of Facebook soon became a war of words between one side, stating the issue was that a child was missing. The other focused on the protection of children and suggested how they should act or dress to better safeguard themselves.
All shines a light on the rampant misogyny and prejudice of low expectations going on in plain view on social media.
A common comment was that a girl of 12 had no business being out after midnight and that to dress in revealing clothes was to invite unwanted attention from people. Older men.
These are both examples of victim blaming and “slut shaming” of, in this incident, a child.
They will claim to be coming from a place of compassion, but to pin blame onto the victim as “asking for it” is deeply rooted in misogyny. Suggesting that a woman or girl is unaware of how they look or will be treated based on their dress comes from the fact that they don’t think they have the mental intelligence to know that this is the case.
Treating women in such a way that they need protection from the world, though coming from a place of care, is misogynistic and comes under the prejudice of low expectations. To see women and girls as fragile things comes with the presumption that they are “things”.
It infringes on women’s freedom to express themselves, regardless if it aligns with your opinion of how they “should” act. Respecting women should be respecting their freedom of expression and autonomy, not freedom from harm’s way.
This being said, there is no hiding that in 2025 women and girls face a level of risk to their safety when leaving the house. A 2020 survey revealed that 71% of women in the UK faced a form of sexual harassment in public.
In their daily lives women need to have a higher level of caution when leaving the house, whether it’s exercising or meeting socially at night. Due to the existence of malicious actors out in the world.
In the case of Pixie, being 12, it put people on higher alert due to the risk of exploitation and trafficking.
Men also have to be aware of their own masculinity when out in public and how they come across. It’s important to be aware of how you talk or behave around more vulnerable people.
In 2022, 70,330 rapes were reported to the police in the UK, 98% of which were by men. (Office of National Statistics & Centre for Action against Rape and Abuse).
The phrase “not all men” is used as a defence, making note of the fact that it is a staggering minority who commit sexual crimes. But they are overwhelmingly men.
When you walk behind a woman down the street at night, or share an elevator alone, or make small talk with a woman at the bar, she doesnt know which percentage you fall under.
Taking care of how you come across or behave around women is an important issue that is worth remembering when it comes to women’s safety in the world. This also extends to how men behave around other men. Calling out misogyny is a good way of repressing bad behaviour, and acting as an ally to those who are being disrespected.
Talking openly about taboos can destigmatize key issues, but it’s also a powerful tool in stamping out negative language and behaviour.
Unfortunately men do not hold the monopoly on misogyny. The comment sections of Pixie’s missing persons alert were spattered with women calling her out on her clothing choices. Particularly one of her in a strapless top. Claiming that dressing like that and being out at night was an invitation for a sexual crime.
It’s worth noting that the images used were taken recently, while the UK is in the height of summer, when concealing clothing is not ideal. And that in the description released by police, it makes no mention of the clothes depicted.
This type of behaviour online also extends to “young mum” groups, where comment sections are peppered with messages designed to shame mothers on their parenting styles and can have an equally detrimental effect on a woman as sexist comments from men do.
Fortunately in the afternoon of July 6th. Police confirmed that Pixie had been found safe and thanked people for their help and concern. A happy ending to a potentially devastating situation.
Though the situation online and in public continues still. Women face misogyny from both sides: the side that views them as weaker and lesser and the side that views them as objects to be protected.
“ …View women as beautiful, fragile things; they aren’t things, they’re people just like you… women don’t exist to be your joie de vivre; they get to have their own joie de vivre.”
(Author John Green on the changing views of women during the suffragette movement).