Martin Keown is my least favourite pundit and co-commentator. His utter drivel and dogma drive me to distraction. Admittedly, Jermain Jenas and Michael Owen push him close, but for utter banality, Keown is the King of the Dross.

His list of quotes while stagnating our airways includes the following:

“Brazil are totally reliant on one player – Neymar and Silva.”

“He’s got such a great leap. It’s like an NFL basketball player.”

And this then leads me to my favourite moment of Keown’s career in football. This moment encapsulates all of those who have to endure the likes of Keown, Jenas and Owen when they watch their favourite sport suffer aural destruction.

Thank you, Nigel Spackman.

Douglas James

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