Sky Sports have taken full responsibility for not including a training session on not gobbing at football fans. They admit that it was a complete oversight on their part and will now be a fully inclusive part of instruction for new presenters and pundits. 

‘Mr Carragher unfortunately is a clear victim of this oversight’ a key spokesperson told me and also stated that other training actions intended included:

Not taking a dump on the roof of team buses

Not curling a phlegm around the back of Chris Sutton’s neck

AND not inviting Niall Quinn to commentate on anything ever again

‘We have learned a very harsh lesson today and it was extremely remiss of us….’.

Douglas James

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