If you are going to celebrate a psychopath’s love in, I am going to write a satirical story.
Amazing how "celebs" like Holly Valance feel qualified to lecture us on the struggles of managing a job and house purchase when her career has consisted of three years acting in a soap, karaoke singing a Turkish pop song and then marrying a billionaire pic.twitter.com/BmMUpdXN5U
— Martin O'Neill (@DrNostromo) February 6, 2024
Once upon a time, in the quirky town of HollyValanceVille, there lived a group of passionate left-wing activists known as the “Progressive Pals.” They were well-known for championing causes like income equality, social justice, and environmental sustainability. The leader of this merry band was a charismatic individual named, unsurprisingly, Holly Valance.
One day, the Progressive Pals received a surprise windfall. They were all offered a role on a sitcom for the intellectually challenged; their modest headquarters turned into a lavish mansion with gold-plated recycling bins and eco-friendly chandeliers. As they basked in their newfound wealth, something strange began to happen.
The first sign of trouble came when Ms. Valance traded in her electric car for a gas-guzzling limousine, citing a newfound appreciation for the roaring power of fossil fuels. The Progressive Pals were baffled, but they shrugged it off, assuming it was a one-time indulgence.
However, the transformation didn’t stop there. The once-ardent advocates for income equality started muttering about the virtues of trickle-down economics. They even hired a financial advisor who specialised in offshore tax havens, claiming it was just a way to “optimise” their newfound wealth.of
Soon, the Progressive Pals were hosting extravagant galas to raise funds for their latest cause: tax breaks for the rich. They argued that if the wealthy were incentivised with even more money, they would surely invest it wisely for the benefit of all.
Their former comrades on the left were left scratching their heads, wondering if their once-passionate friends had been abducted by aliens or perhaps had fallen into an alternate reality.
The local media had a field day covering the shocking transformation. Headlines like “From Left to Right: The Curious Case of HollyValanceVille became the talk of Tufton Steet. Social media was ablaze with memes and jokes about the sudden ideological flip-flop.
Despite the ridicule, the Progressive Pals seemed oblivious to the irony of their situation. They were too busy planning their next luxury yacht trip to discuss the finer points of social justice.
And so, in the peculiar town of HollyValanceVille, the tale of the Progressive Pals turning from left-wing heroes to right-wing tycoons became a cautionary fable, a reminder that sometimes even the most steadfast beliefs can take an unexpected turn when wealth and narcissistic c**** enter the picture.
Penny Lane
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