Let us begin here:
This Irish politician speaks for every decent person on the planet:
The Day Benjamin Netanyahu Arrives In Hell
Following his much-anticipated arrival in the afterlife, former Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was reportedly shocked to discover that Hell was not, in fact, an annexed territory under the control of the Israeli Defence Forces. Instead, he was greeted by Satan himself, who appeared less than impressed by his latest guest.
“Ah, Bibi! I’ve been expecting you,” said the Prince of Darkness, lounging on a throne of molten iron. “Though, between us, I wasn’t sure you’d ever die. You seemed quite determined to outlive your crimes.”
Netanyahu, brushing soot from his tailored suit, scoffed at the surroundings. “This is Hell? I’ve seen worse. Ever been to Gaza?”
Satan smirked. “Oh, you mean the place you turned into a 24/7 live-streamed horror show? Yes, we’ve been watching. Quite frankly, it’s impressive. Even I never managed to justify my atrocities as ‘self-defence’.”
The former PM attempted to take charge of the conversation. “Listen, I don’t think I belong here. I was doing what any leader would—protecting my people. Besides, I thought Hell was full of terrorists?”
Satan chuckled. “Oh, it is. But only the ones you called ‘terrorists’ because they happened to exist in the wrong place. The real terrorists? They’re all in your section. You’ll be sharing a suite with Kissinger and Pinochet.”
Looking around, Netanyahu noticed a group of souls wailing in agony, clutching at their charred faces. “Who are they?”
“Oh, those?” Satan gestured dismissively. “Civilians. You probably didn’t notice them much when you were alive either.”
Attempting to regain composure, Netanyahu straightened his tie. “Fine. So, what happens now? I assume I’ll be governing this place soon enough.”
Satan burst into laughter. “Oh, Bibi, you’re adorable. See, you spent years crushing people under your boot, turning suffering into state policy. But here? You’re the policy.”
With a snap of his fingers, the ground opened beneath Netanyahu’s feet, and he plunged into a pit of eternal fire. His screams mixed with the echoes of bombs, the wails of mothers, and the sound of UN resolutions being ignored.
Satan sighed contentedly. “Ah, poetic justice.”
As Netanyahu continued his descent, he managed to cry out one last desperate plea: “At least tell me—will the US veto my suffering?”
Satan smirked, tossing a glowing trident between his hands. “Sorry, Bibi. Down here, America minds its own business.”
The pit slammed shut, and for the first time in his life (death), Benjamin Netanyahu found himself in a place where no amount of lobbying, spin, or military might could ever save him.
Hell had its own rules. And for once, justice was non-negotiable.
