Apparently it’s fine to drop bombs on schoolchildren in Iran as long as they are ‘Defensive Bombs’ according to Kier Starmer. We spoke to Air Vice Marshal Iona Gunn (USAF) to see what these weapons actually are. She took us to the Lakenheath bomb magazine to show us the difference.
DE – Thanks for taking us to your Defensive Bomb magazine to show us these weapons, Ms Gunn. They look big and powerful – are you sure they’re OK to drop on kids?
Iona Gunn – They sure are big, Sir. See this one? It’s a three-ton bunker buster Defensive Bomb that flies at Mach One when it hits the ground and causes an earthquake when it detonates.
DE – That would do a bit of damage to a school!
Iona Gunn – And this one is a Defensive Cruise Missile that flies at 500 knots up to 1,000 nautical miles from a submarine or B52. It’s nuclear capable (Defensive Nuclear of course) and can turn everyone within a five mile radius into shadows.
DE – That’s a lot of schools! What about this one?
Iona Gunn – Ah, yes, my favourite Defensive Bomb – it’s a smart weapon.
DE – So it knows not to hit schools?
Iona Gunn – Yes, but only if we program it correctly. If we don’t, the school is collateral damage, Sir!
DE – These weapons do an awful lot of damage. Can we go into the Offensive Bomb magazine to see what the difference is, please? You must have a few in case old Vlad decides to try his luck with Poland?
Iona Gunn – They are very few and far between because we’ve used so many in Iran. However, because I trust your world-renowned journalism, I’ll show you a few we have.
(We walk into another armoured hangar and see the weapons)
Iona Gunn – See this one? It’s a three-ton bunker buster Freedom Bomb that flies at Mach One when it hits the ground and causes an earthquake when it detonates.
DE – That would do a bit of damage to a school!
Iona Gunn – And this one is a Freedom Cruise Missile that flies at 500 knots up to 1,000 nautical miles from a submarine or B52. It’s nuclear capable (Freedom Nuclear of course) and can turn everyone within a five mile radius into shadows.
DE – That’s a lot of schools! What about this one?
Iona Gunn – Ah, yes, my favourite Freedom Bomb – it’s a smart weapon.
DE – So it knows not to hit schools?
Iona Gunn – Yes, but only if we program it correctly. If we don’t, the school is collateral damage, Sir!
DE (puzzled) – They look very much the same as the defensive weapons. Can you tell me the difference? Perhaps it’s the explosives inside, or is that Top Secret perhaps?
Iona Gunn – I thought you were an observant journalist? Can’t you see the F on these weapons? Didn’t you see the D on these weapons? F is for Freedom and D is for Defence.
DE – Is that the only difference?
Iona Gunn – Yessir.
DE – So the F bombs are just as lethal as the D bombs?
Iona Gunn – Try sitting under one when it lands and if there’s anything left of you, you can tell me?
DE – Presumably I’d drop an F-bomb if I saw any of these coming at me, so if it had an F on it, it would be a double F bomb? So really, what you’re saying is there’s no difference other than the F or the D.
Iona Gunn – Correct, sir.
DE – Thanks for this eye-opening conversation.
