Okay I’ll raise it. As its got lots of people talking and it seems particularly poignant in my situation.
First of all, this is Kate, mother to future heir to the thrown, good hair advocate and generally lovely duchess, wearing red maternity dress probably from Seraphine.
This is me also mother, also good hair advocate, wearing green shirt from, well can’t remember now!
Kate and I were pregnant at exactly the same time. Kate and I both announced we were pregnant early due to suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum (extreme morning sickness). We both have married our prince. We both have a 4 year old son.
Kate gave birth to her son on the 22 April. The due date for my son was the 15th April, but I was expecting him to be late, so it could have been the same day.
My son however, was stillborn on the 20 March, due to a knot in his cord, that’s an under 1% chance of happening to a perfectly healthy baby. As you can imagine hearts are broken and our lives are currently devastated, we are currently planning a funeral your our precious baby.
I am delighted for the duchess to have safely delivered her baby into the world. Every woman who gives birth is extraordinary and should be celebrated.
There is a lot of debate, whether it’s a realistic impression of a woman to show yourself 11 hours after birth, camera ready. What impact does this have in younger women, who have 0% idea about labour and birth. And does this really represent the difficulty of labour by popping outside a few hours later insta ready? Well that’s a decision you will have to make. My post is about more than this.
So what don’t we have in common:
Kate had her baby (of course) privately. I had mine under NHS care.
I had maternity checks with a different midwife every time I saw one (that was around 8 appointments in total) in a tiny room above a local school in Peckham.
At a private hospital Kate would have had the same midwife over the process, developing a trusted bond and relationship.
Along the journey the random midwives got my BMI wrong (I mean wildly wrong, as in I would have weighed 18 stone, where I was being posted obesity pamphlets) made me go for an unnecessary glucose test due to this, signed my mat B form too early meaning I had to fight for my maternity allowance, didn’t turn up for meetings 3 times, couldn’t read the heartbeat monitor even when he was kicking me. All making me not trust their judgement when it came to more important matters.
Kate would have got consistent and accurate care, trusting her caregivers.
When my babies movements slowed down just before the 36 week scan, I didn’t think to call those midwives, I reassured myself it was his size. Because why would I call those women who I didn’t know who’s opinion I didn’t trust?
How many other women feel like the NHS system doesn’t work? Why was it ONLY AFTER things went badly wrong did I meet extraordinary midwives that I now trust with anything?
Apparently it doesn’t cost any more money to have case load midwives, ie a small group of women who are assigned to you throughout your pregnancy. But it’s down to organisation. It’s better for you and it’s certainly better for the midwives to know you.
Where was any consistency of care?
This is the difference between Kate and I. Don’t we all deserve to have maternity care as good as a princess?
17 women a day have a stillbirth in the U.K. I think it may be more. We have one of the highest rates in Europe. Then there’s the rate of miscarriage. The effects of which have lifetime impacts on families lives.
You can help by donating to charities such as Tommies & Sands. If you love to knit, please visit Simba https://www.simbacharity.org.uk/ who provide amazing memory boxes for bereaved parents, so you don’t have to leave the hospital completely empty handed. You can also donate straight to your local hospital.
I was at Kings College London, who are looking to raise money for a room specifically for bereaved parents to get the care and privacy then desperately need.
Hannah Read-Baldrey
Follow Hannah on Instagram @couturecraft.
