Who is Darren Grimes, some may ask. Well, I can help you there.
Then, not a month later, another tweet that was only up for a few minutes, but as we know, screenshots are forever.
And now, in a shocking turn of events, political pundits have finally discovered that Darren Grimes and Reform UK share a collective IQ roughly equivalent to a lukewarm Pot Noodle. Experts confirm they are, in fact, “as thick as mince,” a revelation that has stunned absolutely nobody outside of Reform sympathisers.
Not only did he post the above tweet, which needs no explanation unless, of course, one is Mr. Grimes or a fellow Reform voter, but the self-styled “voice of common sense” recently attempted to explain Reform UK’s economic policy live on air, only to realise halfway through that he’d been reading from a Wetherspoons menu. “Wait, is ‘11% off for OAPs’ not the same as tax relief?” he reportedly asked before blaming “woke economists” for his confusion.
Meanwhile, Reform UK’s latest campaign slogan—“Make Britain Slightly Less Worse, Maybe”—has been praised for its bold lack of ambition. Party leader Richard Tice was seen enthusiastically nodding along to a speech by a garden gnome, later admitting he “just liked its can-do attitude.”
Political analysts suggest that Grimes and Reform UK’s intellectual depth mirrors a puddle on a summer’s day: shallow, evaporating quickly under scrutiny, and occasionally home to a confused insect. When asked for comment, Grimes reportedly shouted “FREEDOM OF SPEECH!” and then immediately tripped over his own shoelaces.
Therefore, if wisdom were a British beef dish, Darren Grimes and Reform UK would be the unseasoned, undercooked mince left at the back of the freezer. Bon appétit, Britain.
(Satire, obviously, But only just.)
