Why Syrian War Crimes Are Very Naughty – by Charles Saatchi

Both sides in the Syrian conflict are responsible for war crimes and they should stop their playful quibbling at once, make up, shake hands and make friends make friends never ever break friends

says our Chief Diplomatic Correspondent Charles Saatchi

As the Syrian civil war drags on into its third summer, the conflict has quickly escalated from good-natured squabble to spirited tiff to what can only be described as God-awful bickering with human rights violations, rape, torture, massacres of civilians and other very very naughty behaviour committed by both sides.

With Hezbollah, Israel, Turkey, Russia, and even the North Koreans joining in the horseplay and high jinks, both the United Nations and Human Rights Watch have painted a picture of a playful quibble that has already become quite tiresome for everyone else after costing the lives of over a hundred thousand people.

For its part, the U.N. has said they don’t care who started it first and has threatened to wash both their mouths out with soap and water if they don’t say sorry for their prankish behaviour – which includes insisting on committing childish immature human rights violations, mischievous summary executions and light-hearted massacres of civilians.

The U.N. also claims that there are “reasonable grounds” to believe that chemical weapons have been used at least four times during the war, which they point out is not very nice and is actually rather quite naughty.

Tom Pride