Two weekends running of mindless spectacle.

The Eurovision Song Contest was always a showcase for the cheesiest, most vapid pop music Europe could endure. It used to be hosted by Terry Wogan who openly mocked this annual festival of garbage and the show was regarded as about as important as It’s a Knockout.

Eurovision was unintentionally funnier than It’s a Knockout, but nearly as boring and mind-numbing as Stuart Hall laughing for two hours over the pointless antics of that idiotic Europudding TV Show. A kind of war on culture and music by the blandest most stupid spectacle that the continent’s television industry could come up with. The lowest common denominator and then some.

But something has happened in the last decade or two and now this monstrous festival of shrieking divas is being treated with a weird reverance on a par with last week’s equally idiotic coronation. The news is swamped with stories about this parade of plastic surgery, this inane endurance test of anyone’s sanity. And maybe that’s the point – to crush all resistance.

This event must be very heavily policed. Israel is up there jet washing the blood off its hands at the very moment they are dropping bombs on Gaza and seizing more Palestinian land under their ultra-nationalist, Apartheid government. In Leicester, this week, at an arms factory supplying Israeli weapons 60 have been arrested for peaceful protest and drivers threatened with prosecution for honking their support. But don’t look there or report that, look at all the pretty colours and dance routines in Liverpool, where the razor wire is out of sight.

Oooh, look at all these pretty European flags! Israel and that other European settler state Australia somehow crept into this annual soft power fiasco.

But don’t spoil the evening by calling out how shit it all is. That’s being an elitist spoil sport. You have to love it. Everyone loves a good coronation and a good night of Eurovision. It beats torchlight parades hands down.

David Mcqueen

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