“1. Cuts.
2. Cuts that are ‘essential’.
3. Cuts to top tax rates to support aforementioned cuts.
4. War to drain money from public services and continue to increase the wealth of the arms trade, aka us, the Tories.
5. Increased inequality via embarrassingly inept economic policy, that is spun by us and the media as being ‘Stong & stable’. This will be followed by a media campaign that is already being ran for the us rather well by the media, in which every waking effort is made to avoid the public, media, any question not pre-approved, workers, NHS staff, teachers, firemen, postal workers and any public sector workers.
“The plan is to then do everything possible to demonise Jeremy Corbyn. No lie will go unsaid: Supports IRA murders, supports Hamas murders, is an anti-semite, homophobe, racist, sexist, is inept, can’t lead, is weak etc etc etc. We will even say he was on the grassy knoll. Hopefully, with the almost unanimous support of the media, we can make sure peace, harmony, equality, a reduction in economic equality and basic human decency and common sense do not get a look in! We the Conservatives are very proud of our Manifesto, written by just 3 of us and dictated to the rest.
“Theresa May is proud to support child poverty, increased war mongering, 3000% increases in food bank usage, scrapping the hard-fought and British-conceived and written Human Rights Act, scrapping of worker rights, insecure work, homelessness, benefit sanctions for no reason, constant attacks and lowering of living standards on the poor, disabled and vulnerable, the shutting of centres for abused women, corruption, empire-building and terrorist regimes. We, the Conservatives, are happy to support the increase in refugees via us ignoring climate change and escalating our failed foreign policy, BUT, and this is essential-we must not accept any victims of our actions. In fact, we insist on vans telling people to go home.
“We insist on a xenophobic, far right ideology. We insist that accountability is a word only used when relevant to our needs. Most importantly of all, we, the Conservatives, will DEFINITELY MAKE YOUR LIFE WORSE (UNLESS YOU’RE RICH, OF COURSE!), SEND THE COUNTRY BACKWARDS, AND RAMP UP RACISM AND DIVISION. We promise you that we will deliver all of this and much worse, but only if you vote Conservative on June 8th! P.S. If someone tries to use those pesky facts, evidence, compassion or honesty against you, let us know. They won’t do it again! OK, now go out there, spread amazing lies about Corbyn and cut, cut, cut! Our ivory backscratchers depend on your success.”
Get this out before the official launch.
Adam Samuels
