Bad taste?
I think not.
In a turn of events that has toy retailers rubbing their hands with glee (and not just to keep warm in the current economic climate), Fash Boy!, the unapologetically fascist figurine that looks remarkably like Nigel Farage if he’d taken a sharp right turn through 1930s Munich, has flown off shelves nationwide.
Sporting a suspiciously short moustache, a relaxed grin, and jauntily holding a tiny fag between two plastic fingers, Fash Boy! is being hailed as “this season’s must-have item for the nostalgically nationalistic”.
Makers Little Britain Plastics Ltd, a firm best known for their ill-advised “Priti’s Patrol Boat” bath toy, are calling it their “breakout hit”. According to the company’s press release, “…sales have exceeded our wildest expectations; we’ve had to triple production to meet demand from garden sheds, Facebook groups, and undisclosed PO boxes across the country.”
The box boasts a series of alluring features, including:
- Thirty pre-programmed speeches on topics such as “Why I Love Empire”, “They Took Our Jobs”, and the crowd favourite, “Straight Bananas: The Brussels Conspiracy”.
- Customisable accessories, from a pint glass filled with bitter resentment to a “Hard Border” playset, complete with razor wire and tiny tear gas canisters.
- Salute mode, where with one click of a button, Fash Boy! enthusiastically raises his arm in a questionable gesture while delivering catchphrases like “I’m just saying what everyone’s thinking!”
“We’ve tapped into an underserved market,” said marketing director Roger Blenkinsop, sporting a tie decorated with tiny bulldogs. “Our customer research showed a clear appetite for something nostalgic, yet boldly regressive — and with Fash Boy!, people can finally relive the glory days they’re convinced they remember.”
Initial scepticism from toy critics (all two of them) has been thoroughly drowned out by the roaring success. Online forums are awash with gushing reviews:
- “Finally, a toy that stands up for common sense!”
- “I bought one for my son and one for myself. He’ll get his when he’s 18, along with some leather shorts.”
- “Better than Action Man — this one doesn’t even pretend to care about human diversity.”
The success has emboldened Little Britain Plastics to announce an entire “Historical Revisionism Range”, including:
- Enoch Powell’s “Rivers of Blood” Water Slide
- The Empire Board Game (rules: Britain always wins)
- And for the festive season, a Santa Brexit Countdown Calendar: behind every door, a fresh trade barrier.
When reached for comment, Nigel Farage himself was reportedly “delighted”, claiming the toy captured him perfectly. “I could not have dreamed of a more pertinent representation of what I stand for,” he said.
Retailers are struggling to keep up, with Fash Boy! now commanding eye-watering prices on secondary markets. One proud owner, clutching their purchase outside a model shop in Clacton, declared, “I just like him because he tells it like it is,” as he goose-stepped off down the street.
Indeed. He certainly does.
