Ode to Crispen Blunt

I’m sorry I didn’t vote right
to please the great and good
though they gave me a ballot paper
and I thought I understood

I had five little boxes to choose from
and all I had to do
was choose one to put an X in
not three or four or two

I knew I was voting Labour
before I even went in
so that’s exactly what I did
then put it in the tin

They say this is a democracy
that it is my vote to make
but now I’m told by Crispen Blunt
I’ve made a bloody mistake

The country’s in a fucking mess
and I’m the one to blame
I should have voted something else
what a crying shame

I really shouldn’t think at all
that’s not for the likes of me
I should listen to a Tory
with whom I must agree

They keep you straight, these Tories
and properly in your place
but once they get a sniff of power
they smack you in the face

What’s to do, I do not know
but here’s a little thought
he should have bunged me a thousand quid
cos that’s how they are bought

So what he’s really telling me
is I should be like him
and sell my soul for a cup of gold
with a heart as black as sin

Well fuck you Mr Tory man
I’ll tell you what I’ll do
I’ll do exactly what I did
and never vote for you.

KOG. 12 June 2017